I must admit that I find it rather hard to believe that a few tossers with ‘drones’ have brought Gatwick Airport to a complete standstill. Though I find it quite reassuring to read that ‘police are looking for flying object in the sky’. At least they’re in the right ball park. Though they’re not sure if its one drone or many, whether its some random dickhead with a new toy, totally oblivious that his activities have so far ruined the Christmases of 115,000 people, or if its some bizarre statement by ‘eco-warriors’ intent on causing havoc in a place so blatantly guilty of ‘eco-crimes’. Like ‘flying in aeroplanes’. A terrible thing to do (he says from Bondi Beach) to our planet!

This is what you do. You shoot the things out of the sky. We have systems that can detect a single mosquito anywhere in the greater Harlow area, we have anti-missile mechanisms that can ‘take out’ a suspect ‘thing’ anywhere in the skies. A kid with an iPad could probably find seventeen ways to disrupt a drone’s signal and see it plummet to the ground. But instead, we send out two dozen policemen to ‘find one in the sky’. Presumably, once seen they would immediately… errrr… fly up to arrest it? Superman would. Or throw their truncheons at it? If you’re not the solution, then you’re part of the problem. Sometimes you just need fucking violence.

The oddest thing of all: last night I went to the synagogue. To put that in perspective: I never go to the synagogue. I never said I was a good Jew, I said I was a good Spurs fan. Slightly different. But last night, due to the upcoming nuptial event, synagogue was on the events list so I had no choice. But it was Australian synagogue, so not like a real one. It was nice, it was really friendly, it only lasted half an hour (JUST within my tolerance threshold), no-one cared if you spent your time talking with old friends rather than pretending to pray, and the rabbi insisted I drink a whisky with him before we started. And he’d already had a good head start on me. My kind’a rabbi. Numb the pain.

So its nine in the morning, I’ve been up forever, I’ve swum as many lengths as the shoulder would allow and its not too hot. Are you jealous? That I’m worried about being too hot dressed in shorts and flip-flops?? Good. Job done then.

Happy Saturday, as we call Friday night over here

A xxxx