I was so lucky last night. I turned on the tv for the news and it was delayed because of the football. Women’s football. Which, amazingly, I’d forgotten all about!!! Even though it was the quarter final!!! I mean, turning on in the last minute of extra time. I could have missed it!! And you know how I love women… ‘s football. So it was time for penalties!!! I wasn’t prepared for so much excitement!! All ready for winding down with a cuppa tea with the news and there I was, in the peak of a thrilling penalty shoot-out!

But I didn’t realise that the rules are different in the Women’s Euros from our all to familiar Men’s version. In which we’ve lost a penalty shoot-out or two over the years. They must have found that the reason we had such disasters with Gareth Southgate and John Terry, was due to excessive practice and too much skill and technique. So to resolve this problem, the rules for Women’s penalty shoot-outs would appear to be:
Blindfold the penalty taker and spin her round 3 times (off camera) then put her somewhere near the ball and get her to either roll it gently towards where she thinks the goalkeeper might be, OR, slam it as hard as she can over the bar, so it won’t hurt the goalie if it makes contact. And that in turn creates the most wonderful randomised feeling about penalties. Rather than ‘most footballers can score a penalty’, we have a much more, ‘roll of the dice’ type outcome, with about 1 in 6 being about right. It makes it even more exiting, even more wonderful! Further benefits from women’s football.

The only exception seemed to be Lucy Bronze. She cheated. She acted like a total fucking MAN!!! Strutted up, like she knew what she was doing and with no blindfold, and slammed the ball into the net. And because of that action, I’m not sure I can be as happy with England’s reaching the semi-final as I should be. Taking penalties should NOT just be about scoring goals.

Can’t wait for the semis!!! Unless I’m washing my hair. Cleaning the car. Doing a jigsaw puzzle…

Happy Friday

COME ON LIONESSES!!!

A xxxx