A lawyer is suing Oxford University. Nothing unusual there; lawyers sue people all the time. But this is the lawyer himself suing the University because when he studied (modern history) there, in 2000, he only achieved a low 2.1 degree. Which has held back his legal career sufficiently to sue the University for £1million that he would have earned if he’d been better educated and qualified with a higher degree.

Basically; his opportunities in working life were reduced because of their failure to get him a first, or even a good 2.1. He blames ‘inadequate teaching’.

You’d really have to see how all the other students on his course fared before making any judgments. Because if they all got low 2.1s and 2.2s then maybe he has a point. But often the lines between graduate marks kind of ‘float’ so that a certain percentage get a first, the next so many percent a 2.1, etc. Which makes it even more difficult to forensically diagnose the problem.

An alternative reading of the situation could be that Faiz Siddiqui (for ’tis he) is just a bit of a thicko. Nice, but dim. Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. Clever enough to blag his way into Oxford but perhaps lacking in academic industry? Who knows? Who fucking cares? I hope he wins the case and gets 5 million.

Because then I’m going to sue my old PE teacher (from 1971) for not making me Lionel Messi. I’d have earned (and not paid tax upon) billions. I was keen, I was ‘gifted’ (to a degree… a very lowly degree, probably a 2.1) but due to ‘lack of proper teaching’ Barcelona never offered me a contract.

I’m going to sue my driving instructor for not making me Lewis Hamilton. I can drive. I can certainly drive fast. Why didn’t he ‘push’ me to excel? £132 million. In cash, per-lease, payable in Monaco. Like Lewis.

Can you just imagine the legal precedent if every under-achieving, lazy dipshit could sue his education for his failure to succeed all the way to unrealistic expectations? I’d be the first in line.

Happy slowly recovering Wednesday

A xxxx