Great Britain lives in the Dulux Paints 3rd Division (North) of world weather. We talk of nothing else yet ‘suffer’ nothing more than months of grey, loads of drizzle, mild, mild, fucking mild. A horrible word whose flexibility means its never far from our weather reports. Not too hot, not too cold, just bland, boring, moderate, dull, mild.

I suffer from weather envy. A terrible and debilitating condition affecting many Englishmen. Whilst New Orleans suffered HURRICANE KATRINA, over here, ‘winds in Nuneaton today reached almost 7 miles per hour. A local lady, Edith Maythorpe, almost lost her hat!!!! But it was retrieved by her neighbours Rottweiler. Who ate it’.

We never warranted Hurricane Reginald or Kirk or Zadie (they’re alphabetical, hurricanes, amazing that hurricane Derek never overtakes hurricane Eric, but that’s the wonder of weather), we just had sodding mild.

Until last night. When Barney arrived. Yep, a real name. A storm worthy of a title. The bubble had burst. Quite literally when I came out from Tai Chi last night, the weather bubble that covers four outdoor tennis courts had torn and was flapping around on the ground as if a group of giants was having an orgy under a giant bedcover.

And it was windy. Fuck me was it windy. Trees blew down, my patio table was rearranged half way down the garden and my car, so lovingly washed on Sunday, is filthy with debris from the trees.

Barney had come. And left once more, leaving us with another lovely, bright summer’s day. But in November. Very mild for the time of year.

I missed the England/France football friendly at Wembley last night. The match that simply had to be played, in defiance of the fucking terrorists. Not only played, but attended by Prince William, David Cameron and numerous other important people. Oh, and three battalions of artillery. Everyone present sang La Marseillaise, French, English and even foreign. It was very moving. Very united. Very defiant. And I was proud. That I, er, missed it totally.

Delli Alli scored a supergoal, Eric Dier was wonderful, Harry Kane amazing.

Defeat terrorism; support Spurs.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx