Oh no! Liz Truss has gone!!! Didn’t see that coming. Never mind, we’re on course for setting a new record for staff changes. In 3 months we’ll have had 10 changes in PM, Chancellor and Home Secretary combined. Add in 2 monarchs and we’re not having a great time at the top of our national tree. How could that possibly be ‘unstable’? It means we always have the best, change UP, move forward, stay with the groove. It unfortunately also means that all the good-uns (and several bad) are used up so we’re down to the subs bench now, in terms of options. Or, possibly, scraping the barrel from the veteran’s team. Meaning Boris.

Because there have been suggestions that we need him back. A known ‘face’ he might be, but a ‘safe pair of hands’? His hands are no safer than his penis and we all know about that. But more importantly, how can you (ie ‘the Conservative party) get rid of a person because they lie, cheat, steal, con, show all the decency of a rabid dog, all the discretion of a headline in The Sun and all the subtlety of a jack-hammer, and then bring him back because ‘he’s the best out there’?

So we can forget Boris, even though I have it on some authority that he has 140 MPs willing to ‘sponsor’ him in his leadership bid. And probably about 240 willing to murder him should he get through Round 1. And we need to concentrate on the other runners and riders. Who could be called ‘the ones not good enough last time round’ or not, depending on how depressed you wish to become over this total fucking shambles.

There’s Rishi Rich, possibly the best out there, a touch conservative (small ‘c’) in the finance front, a touch brown for some (not because they are racist but they’re worried that come 2025- if anything lasts that long, people in the shires might be too racist to vote for him; a sort of ‘racism by proxy’) a touch too weedy for me.

Ben Whassisname, the defence secretary, who’s not even sure he wants to run.

Penny Mordaunt, a lot of people’s favourite, with the rest of the people wondering why?

Kemi Badenoch, because she always does.

Liz Truss, now deleted.

The Queen, same.

Steve Gerrard, because he’s out of work.

And here we go again…

Happy Friday