The American Dementia Society has shown conclusively that exercise not only reduces the onset of dementia but also ‘builds up the brain’, significantly increasing its volume over time, as compared to the ‘non-exercise’ group in the trial. Or ‘Americans’ as they’re normally called.

This represents almost a ‘national disaster’ in the States where it was shown that ‘going to fridge for another beer/doughnut/tub of dip for nachos/pound of lard does not constitute ‘exercise’ in a beneficial way. Tossing the tv remote control from hand to hand similarly is short of the required energy expenditure to be classed as ‘exercise’. As is sitting in the pickup while Juan fills it up with gas and checks the tyre pressures. Exhausting though that might be.

This will end in tragedy as the fattest nation on the planet collectively forgets why they shouldn’t be eating more.

And who was it said “you can’t trust women?”

Oh. That was me. I forgot. Better do some more exercise.

Equality is taking yet another giant leap forward in the civilised world with more ground breaking leaps by assertive females into roles formally the almost exclusive domain of men.

This time its the glass ceiling of serial murder that’s been smashed, on both sides of the Atlantic. First Joanna Dennehy goes on trial in Peterborough (half way up north, full of retarded and inbred people with tattoos on their faces) for the brutal murders of 3 men and attempted murder of 2 more, one of whom was stabbed 42 times. So whilst in prison Joanna surely should be working on her stabbing skills and her aim.

Also on trial, this time in Pennsylvania, Miranda Barbour, a rising star in the serial killer world at just 19 years old, ‘stopped counting after killing 22’, as you would. She’s a satanist. Whatever the fuck that means.

So ‘way to go, girls’, as female empowerment takes anther giant leap forward. This time without any twerking.

Vanessa Mae is a classical violinist. A very beautiful one. And rich, now she’s been plucking her fiddle for a number of years and never using her sexuality to advance her career; don’t all violinists play Bach wearing just their Victoria’s Secrets? In fact she’s such a brilliant musician that even a philistine such as I started to appreciate the wonders of the classical genre due to her. Though I must confess I generally watched the videos with the sound off.

Anyway, today, Ms Mae is competing in the Giant Slalom in the Sochi Winter Olympics. Yeah, I’d forgotten there was Winter Olympics on too, I must take more exercise. So how fantastic is that? As well as being the world’s best (looking) musician, she’s a fuck-off skier too. Or, she can wear lycra as well as lace. Either way I’d vote for her.

Happy wednesday

A xxxx