Ya gotta love those European Rules. A bunch of overpaid do-nothings in Brussels who do nothing but eat out all the time on expense accounts paid for by us, have passed a new law. Don’t know where they found the time in between all the foie gras and private jet flights and mistresses in love-nests in The Hague, but find it they did. And they have decided that obesity is now officially ‘a disability’.

So what? you may think, ya gotta call fat people something, so ‘disabled’ is as good as anything else. What’s in a name??

But you’d be wrong. Because by classifying immenseness as a disability it becomes protected as such under laws of equality and discrimination. Like, well, like disabled people, and women and gays. And effnicks. Hermaphrodites. Romanians. Lib Dem voters. Minorities in general. And so when Terry Tubby, who you employed in 1994, becomes 2-ton-Tel, you have to provide him with a wider chair, desk, toilet. You have to instal a lift, a winch, widen all the doorways in the offices, provide masseuses for his legs and other extremities, wash him weekly and you need to set up a McDonalds franchise no more than 2.6 metres from his workstation.

And when interviewing for the receptionist position at Gyms-for-Babes-a-go-go, specially marketed with that ‘only way is essex’, WAGy kind of thing, you cannot discriminate against Suzie, who weighs in at 327lbs and looks like Ayers Rock. And if she’s qualified and doesn’t get the job then she will sue and take you to court. Which in turn will have to be widened, strengthened and installed with all kinds of mechanical facilities just to get her on the stand.
As a lifelong fat bastard, cruelly trapped in thin body, I think we need to thank those Euro-tossers for hitting yet another nail right on the chins.

But really, if people are just a touch overweight, or smoke like chimneys, or live a rotten terrible lifestyle that involves excessive carbohydrates, masses of fats, no fucking exercise whatsoever and fourteen packets of Nachos a day because tv watching is just not the same any other way, even with the 18 cans of beer to wash them down, for those lucky people, there’s now no need to change their seemingly destructive ways. No. Instead we can just give them statins. The new(ish) wonderdrug that for years has been taken by those with raised cholesterol levels is to be rolled out (like most of the people due to take it) to up to 40% of the population. To ‘save them’. Yes, just one little pill a day and you can maintain your unhealthy lifestyle without worry nor care. In fact you should start thinking about taking 2 pills a day and supersizing those portions. Why the hell not?

Well its good for the drug companies, terrible for the NHS who will fund it, and much easier than trying to educate a bunch of fucking slobs.
Its not a perfect world. But with the right drugs…

Happy Friday

A xxxx