I am a European.
I was a European. Now I’m a narrow-minded, small-worlded, Island-mentality-ed, isolationist INLISHMAN.

There was good and bad with Brexit. In fact, there was bad and worse with Brexit. The only good bit was that we could get rid of some of their ridiculous laws which led to a packet of peanuts showing the statement ‘MAY CONTAIN NUTS’. Which is nuts, unless you’re a Euro-bureaucrat, in which case its making the world safe. They never considered the nut-allergists who can’t read, did they???

Anyway, none of that has happened yet. The 4,762 (no idea really, but its a lot) laws we wish to dispose of are still sitting there awaiting the immense task of being written out of law and replaced with good, British laws. So a packet of peanuts will say ‘DOES CONTAIN NUTS’. So what part, exactly, of GET BREXIT DONE, has actually been done?

And why are we still in the Eurovision Song Contest? Why the fuck was Australia EVER in it? But they’re in it by choice. I want out so I don’t have to suffer the humiliation of my beautiful, walled in, foreigners-out nation coming second from bottom. To a bunch of gender ambiguous, hip-hop, electro-rapping out-of-work EUROPEANS! Among whom, I no longer number.

Turkey wants to become part of the EU. They saw an empty slot with ‘UK’ rubbed out and they want in. Well, only if Erdegan’s opponent wins, obviously. If the incumbent president is victorious he’ll just continue to erode as many democratic rights from his people as he can, then he’ll do a Xi Jinping and pronounce himself President for Life and possibly declare war on Europe. But the problem there today is that the reports of the incoming ‘results’ are all different, all contradictory and, basically, can’t be trusted. I wouldn’t say Erdegan is ‘corrupt’, never, but he is. Totally. The Turks will abandon their nation. And if they try to come here they’ll end up in Senegal. So that’ll be the place for kebabs. I’m booking my flights now.

Happy Monday

A xxxx