No Lila today. She’s had to give way for this rather amusing little ‘thingy’ that arrived on my phone last week. And amidst all the furore about Damien Green, (momentarily suspended, possibly soon to be ‘ex’), deputy leader of the parliamentary Conservative party, its achingly appropriate.

Because all the ladies on his parliamentary computer need clothes too. Thousands of them. And they’re so cold all their nipples have… ok, too much information.

There’s two main issues here. I think. The first is whether there were images and what that implies, both about his personal tastes and the time THAT WE PAY FOR wasted surfing porn sites when he should have been running the country. The other issue is whether the images a. exist, b. were downloaded by him, and c. are not part of some conspiracy revenge plot by retired members of her Majesty’s constabulary for grievances past. Not Dominic Grievance, another one (Tory joke).

So; two issues, which have immediately grown to 5 issues. Possibly 9. And just for the record, Donald Trump didn’t re-tweet any of the images.

Mainly because this alleged offence took place in 2008. Oh! So why now? Which is indeed a very interesting question. If the police have allegedly been in possession of these images for nine fucking years, what’s changed to suddenly make them sufficiently more damaging or relevant to bring them to light now? Even though ‘historical crimes’ are really zeitgeisty at the moment. All the rage at New Scotland Yard. If your house gets burgled today (heaven forbid) the police will tell you that there will be a full and thorough investigation. In 2028 because by then it’ll be ‘historical’ and everyone will take much more notice.

Damian Green fell out with the police over a bungled investigation in 2008. And policemen, like elephants, have long memories. Though not trunks. Other than for swimming. Anyway…

This whole thing simply stinks. I don’t have any love for Damian Green. Not hatred. I don’t care about him one little bit. And if he was downloading porn, or photos of model aircraft, or Beany fucking Babies, that’s indeed wrong because he should have been doing his job. But I can’t be convinced about any of this. It feels like a witch-hunt revenge plot to me. And unless such a thing is aimed at someone really horrible, like Trump or Corbyn, I have no time for them.

Off to play some sub-zero tennis.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx