My wife and I (love that phrase; so royal, so 1940, so classy) recently had a quote for a life insurance policy. In case we kill each other. Then the kids would at least be rich orphans. So our Independent Financial Advisor (spit now) or ‘IFA’ acquired a quote for us, by hiking round to every insurance company in the land, flying over to Zurich, taking a slow boat to China, to ascertain what the best possible deal in life insurance for us, his loving clients.

In reality he probably spent 10 minutes online looking for the best deal for…

And that’s where it gets a bit interesting. The ‘best deal for us’ turned out, in the very last line, the afterthought, after all the other smallprints and afterthinking, to pay a commission of about 10 thousand pounds for his ‘services’. So certainly the best deal for him.

For the first two years, 60% of our monthly payment goes straight to the IFA.

I questioned IFA about this rather large amount of payment. To which he replied that they get a commission from the insurers otherwise “I’d have to invoice YOU!” Like that. With an exclamation mark included to let me know how funny this all is. Even more hilarious, we pay him a yearly retainer. Laugh???

We’re still in discussion. My half of the conversation along the lines of: I’d rather be homeless forever and forced to eat my own legs than give you 10 grand for nothing.

Then on today’s papers a new scandal. Footballer players being given terrible advice by IFAs losing millions and millions. Whilst the IFAs ‘earned’ themselves 5.2 million quid in ‘fees’.

Property deals in Florida, film-backing tax avoidance schemes, condos in Spain. All crumbled, fell, never quite materialised, or just failed miserably as any kind of ‘investment’ and all covered by that horrible ‘investments can go down as well as up’ line they put in everything.

The fact that this has come to light is great. IFAs are legally bound to act in the client’s interest and NOT in that of the investor, nor purely for their own gain. Yet time and again ‘clients’ are put into contracts that benefit the IFA. Who is then not in any way responsible for the shitty advice he’s given you and been paid a fortune for. That sounds fair.

Life goes full circle. 40 years ago a ‘life insurance salesman’ was a euphemism for a dodgy-dealing, foot-in-the-door cowboy. So they regulated the job to total fucking death until now they’re fully qualified to rob us blind.

Doesn’t seem right.

Happy Sunday

Come on you Spurs

A xxxx