Manchester City are amazing. They play lovely football, score truckloads of wonderful goals, they entertain, they are winners, they are smooth, relaxed, creative, classy and elegant as a unit and they achieve top levels of success.
So why do we fucking hate them?
Its an interesting question. And even if its not interesting, even if its a pointless, dull or downright stupid question, I’m going to answer it all the same. I’m that kind of guy.
And ‘that kind of guy’ is anyone who loved football before Sky came along, brought in the Premiership and changed the fundamental value system in the game. From ‘football’ being the prime concern, that shifted to become ‘money’. Taking away ancient concepts like club loyalty, like decency, fairness and any degree of equality between the clubs.
“But you can’t buy success!!!!” they shout. Oh yes you bloody can.
Just look at Chelsea as a model. An average team on the very verge of bankruptcy when in steps Roman Abramovich with his ill-gotten Mafia-esque rubles and just starts buying the best players in the world. All of them. When poor men are under threat for their lives from a tyrannical government or business people they’ve screwed over, they run and hide. Rich men don’t. They get a load of guards and they buy a horrible football club to raise their own profile to the point where they feel untouchable by the men with the uranium-tipped umbrellas and sharp stilletoes (the knives, not the heels, though maybe both). Lo and behold, Chelsea win the league. Then they win it again, having waited over 60 years since their previous success. They win cups, they win everything including the biggest prize of all, the Champions League. Bringing them the glory they wanted and the money to make them even richer.
So along comes Sheikh Mansoor, a humble Emiratee. From Abu Dhabi. And he buys failing no-hope club Manchester City, injects a billion quid in players that Chelsea would otherwise have bought, and guess what? They start winning stuff they’d never before dreamed of. Turning football into a dick-measuring competition for the uber-rich playboys of the world.
Uefa being Uefa (ie toothless, hopeless, moronic and probably in the pay of the Chelseas and Man Citys) under pressure from the other clubs, bring in their pathetic ‘Financial Fair Play’ rules to try and limit clubs’ spending to a level vaguely related to their earnings. Vaguely because clubs are still allowed to make ‘losses’, which is the bit the owner just gives them at the end of the financial year to balance the books and reduce his personal tax bill. Except Sheikh Mansoor, who doesn’t pay tax. You don’t when you own the country.
And thus Manchester City exceed these Fair Play rules. In which losses are acceptable up to £37 million per year. After lots of creative accounting and shuffling into acceptable piles of lossage like infrastructure and youth training (which amounts to about 3 weeks of Yaya Toure’s salary, but who’s counting). In two years Man City’s losses total £150 million. Not counting the very very dubious ‘naming rights’ deal of the Etihad Stadium for an internationally never-before-heard-of, £350 million for 10 years. Coincidentally, Etihad Airlines is owned by Abu Dhabi, which is run by Sheikh Mansoor.
And if any of this smell a touch ratty, then you’re wrong and prejudicial, just because its Man City and you hate them. They are challenging in court Eufa’s punitive measures to their excesses.
Quel surprise.
Happy Wednesday, let’s get football back to black and white, where it was lovely, and standing up at matches, and bring back smallpox and scurvy and rationing while you’re there.
A xxxx
Howard – you speak sense but I’d like to correct you on two critical points:
Arsenal actually are scum.
I admit that I’m completely prejudiced but it’s fun to call deserving people like scum-supporters names, especially in a safe forum like this. And it’s very childish which is also a good thing at my age.
And Wenger actually is a paedophile. Ask Andy – he’ll vouch for that ‘fact’, although he doesn’t like to talk too much about that incident when he was much younger. (Why do you think he hates Arsenal so much?)
well let’s bring on the debate then. Or: air your prejudices and slag off the enemy, as the case may be. Same difference to me. I have ancient grievances against Manchester City. Chelsea have to be hated by all right-minded, upstanding people. Its the law.
Quite right. I don’t hate Man City. Even in the days of Francis Lee they were a bogey team for us. I do hate Chelsea and I’m amazed at just how many Jewish supporters stick with the neo-Nazi filth. I don’t even think Arsenal are scum. If they are, we are. Why? Because yer average goner is from the same type of socio-economic background as the Yid Army. We went to school with them. Married their sisters. OK they play anti-fun and arsehole boring football but Thierry Henri…not bad !!! They even have the best manager in the Premiership if only he could put the whole Maddy thing behind him.
West Ham I pity. And fear.
But for Chelsea. Cant think of anything vaguely likeable about them.
Except for their demise.
May it come speedily, in our days.
and yet, if an Abramovich, or a Mansoor, or a Max Clifford came sniffing round Spurs, or Middlesboro, trailling their billions behind them, would we campaign against them? I would, but only in private. And claim the ‘out of my control’ card. Like urinating.
I don’t hate Man City. Plenty of the “blue moon” brigade stuck with them when they were in the old money third division in the late 1990s. And they do play pretty football. My hatred is reserved for Chelsea. They were always horrible, horrible people – and now they are rich horrible, horrible people. Football just isn’t fair.