Just had to post this photo today. Not just because this 1955 Mercedes 300 SLR has just become the most expensive car ever, at £114million, not even because Mercedes only ever made two of them, one for racing and this one, not EVENNNNN because it had a straight-8 engine, giving it a bonnet the length of a swimming pool. But because, being known as the ‘Mona Lisa of cars’, it is quite simply exquisite. A thing of almost infinite beauty. Like Audrey Hepburn. Like a Cruyff turn. Like my rhododendron bush now in full bloom. Like Garry Sobers hitting six 6s in an over. Like me. Just perfection.

But my brothers in the RMT (Rail Maritime and Transport workers union) are going on strike! Because… well, because we can. Led by our esteemed leader, Mick Lynch (£124 grand a year, plus ‘benefits’), we are all (probably… possibly) in agreement that the only way to secure… whatever is insecure, whatever is unfair or pretty much, to give us all a bit more of everything, is to hold a strike. Talking is for tossers. For London-based rich people who like words instead of actions because they confuse thick people like me. So rather than enter ‘discussions’ and ‘talks’ and ‘neg-oh-shiashans’ and shit, we just gonna cut to the chase and bring the entire fucking country to its knees for a few days, so they know who they’re dealing with!

It’s a simple matter really. The rail operators, those bastard fascists and fat-cats wot own the trains, were bailed out during the pandemic. 16 billion quid’s worth of bailout. But its not, like, ‘real’ money because they borrowed it from the government. Ok, from you. Same difference. And our guv’nor, Mick, is worried that to pay this almost impossible sum back, they might either try to make redundancies or, worse still, change our working pay and/or conditions. And that’s why we love our union. Because any company, faced with an immense, unsustainable level of debt, will try to make cuts somewhere. Well NOT ON MY WATCH, THEY WON’T!! Well, Mick Lynch’s watch, anyway. He not only wants security for jobs and pay, but also a GUARANTEE that there will be ‘no detrimental change to working practices’. Which means if I’m off sick for 3 months, injured, on full pay, I can still go skiing with the kids, windsurf with the wife and climb the north face of Annapurna. My mate Jim is an operator of a piece of equipment which hasn’t been used since the First World War. He drinks a lot of tea for his £75 grand a year, and we need to ensure that not just his job, but THAT job is maintained for generations to come to ensure fairness and equality for lazy bastards who do absolutely nothing. We must support our union and agree to the strike.

Happy Militant Saturday

A xxxx