So its arrived, the ‘big match’, the final frontier, the last hurdle, the… yeah, whatever. Holland playing Brazil tonight is so exciting, so massive, so, so, so… so something that I’m going out for dinner and will completely forget all about it. The interest in who comes 3rd and 4th in the World Cup holds the same interest as who didn’t win last year’s celebrity bake-off. Or who failed to win a first round match at Wimbledon. Its basically to find the champion loser. And no-one likes a loser. Even though if Brazil played Holland in virtually any other circumstance, I’d be rivetted.

I’ll save my rivetting for tomorrow night. For what might be ‘la grande classique’ or might be ‘la boring dull garbage’. We can only be hopeful. But who do we support? Who is the lesser of evils between Germany and Argentina? We, generally speaking, hate them both. Neutrality is so uninspiring. So pointless. Might as well be Swiss. I can’t support Argentina because:

of the Falkland Islands
of Maradonna’s cheating goal in 1986
they played the most horrible game ever on wednesday night
they can be quite horrible and nasty when required

I can’t support Germany because:

they’re mainly German
of all those wars
there’s something immensely satisfying to see them lose
they’re mainly German

I love Argentina because:

of Lionel Messi, the best player in the world, bar none
they can at times play wonderful football
I still love Ossie Ardiles and Ricky Villa

I love Germany because:

errrrr…
hmmmm…
ah! because my car’s German and I love that.

Yet Germany are the only team, other than a few of the south amercians, who play the game as it should be played. They play to win, rather than just to not lose. They are organised (as they would be; its a national trait), they are a wonderful collective and they are fab to watch.

Luis Suarez has gone to Barcelona on a free transfer. His teeth are going seperately for 75 million quid. And suddenly there’s a new phrase that is being used in the Liverpool context, as reciptients of these riches. To ‘do a Spurs’. Meaning to get a shit-load of money for a player and squander it on second rate (that’s only the good ones) rubbish players. How flattering for my team to be yet another metaphor for failure.

So come on Germany (yes, I’m afraid its come to that)

Happy Saturday

A xxxx