Galliano is back. Hooray. The disgraced former head of Dior fashion designer with the stick-on dreadlocks and a distinct dislike of Jews is now chief dressmaker for the label Maison Martin Margiela. You know, that fabulous company who made a dress with, errr, like, hmmm, sleeves and straps and stuff. Anyway, Galliano’s their man. He’s ‘cured’. He’s controlled his alcoholism. On the wagon. I’m not sure if you can ‘cure’ anti-semitism, but the alcohol, thing of the past, mate. Because he was blind, rip-roaring drunk when, in a Paris cafe, he called a woman a ‘jewish bitch’ followed by ‘jewish c**t’. In case the ‘bitch’ comment wasn’t sufficiently offensive. Ahhhh, it was the booze talking. Love jews. Never had an anti-semitic thought in me life, your honour, honest.

Alcohol does many things. But mainly it removes (in sufficient quantity) inhibitions. It is not a drug reknowned for enhancing thought processes or helping create a political or social standpoint. It just makes the drinker more likely to voice an existing view, quite loudly, somewhat aggressively and a bit more extremely. The thought was already there, the booze simply liberated it to the outside world.

I hope his titty-tape loses all its sticky. Well, I generally hope that anyway.

And here we are, just weeks after the courts of South Africa showed the world how stupid they can be with legless sportspeople, back there for yet another man-shoots-woman case at trial. But this time its a British man, Shrien Dewani, on trial for paying someone else to shoot his lovely wife on their honeymoon. Allegedly.

Dewani probably looked into the old ‘shoot her through the bathroom door’ method of ‘assisted suicide’ now legal in South Africa, but found to his dismay that the honeymoon suite had glass internal doors, which would make the ‘suspected intruder’ plea a bit thin. Plus, unlike Pistorious, he didn’t have his own gun shop to hand. So they drove in pre-arranged taxi to a slum (sadly still very easy to find in Cape Town, much harder to avoid in fact) where they were ‘held up’ by robbers, blah, blah, blah, she ends up shot dead, he left playing the distraught and devastated widow. But the killers were caught (“can’t miss him, big black guy with a gun, officer”) and it transpired that they had been paid to put on the little show. Hmmmm. And we all thought ‘why???’ Well, I thought ‘why?’. Why would you marry someone and have them murdered a week later? Made no sense. Takes months to hate a wife that much. Well, at least 6 weeks. And it was all dull and drab and another protracted, boring trial and then one word appeared in the press yesterday which was a serious game-changer. ‘Bisexual’. Shrien Dewani was ‘bisexual’. And suddenly, the whole feel of the case has instantly changed. Its interesting, exciting. Male prostitutes, German ones at that, fetish sex, sleazy clubs, on-line shirt-lifting, its simply wonderful. If we could get Galliano into the picture it would be ‘the perfect crime’. For spectators anyway.

Happy tuesday

A xxxx