So here’s the question: do you want to be fat and fertile or slim and sterile? Its a big question. But may get less big if you opt for the latter. Because they’ve been examining the new ‘fasting diets’, where you don’t eat on Tuesday, or you only eat til 7 at night and then nothing til 2pm the next day, every day. Including Tuesday. Because they think that these fasting diets upset the body’s metabolism and reduce the energy required to produce healthy eggs and sperm. So young people have a choice. Do they stay fat as a blimp but with perfect sperm or eggs or do they slim down, possibly enhancing their chances of actually finding a ‘mate’, but with damaged reproductive stuff once they’ve found him/her/it/them/something?

It must be mentioned that this study was actually performed on Zebrafish. Which, I understand, may produce a mild ‘WTF???’ reaction, but apparently zebrafish have a ‘similar genetic structure’ to humans. Do they fucking really?. I wanna know how ‘similar’, bearing in mind we share a genetic structure with trees, plants, worms, slugs and aardvarks as well. Anyway, zebrafish it was, cruelly starved of food then subjected to the degradation of having their bits manipulated for testing. Don’t zebrafish have rights? If they’re almost human?? A trade union? Support group? The Royal Society for the Protection of Zebrafish or something?

But that’s what they found. Fat zebrafish are more eggy, more spermy, that thin, starving ones. Therefore, obviously, the same will apply to humans. Particularly those who only breathe underwater, or have stripes. The evidence is simply overwhelming.

One could almost be forgiven into naively thinking that any diet’s purpose is to intake less food and reduce weight so might possibly have a similar effect on fertility as these new, ‘fasting’ ones.

People looking for a mate should go to their local aquarium at the earliest opportunity or try the new dating app: FishFingR for a quick hook up. (Hooks to be removed immediately thereafter).

Happy dating

A xxxx