I eat anything. More importantly, I eat everything. If there’s food
there, I’ll eat it. Yes, I eat my meals, yes, I have ‘snacks’ but if
there’s more food there, then I start on that too. Especially nuts and
chocolate. I think somewhere down my lineage there was a labrador. We
don’t so much ‘eat’ as ‘inhale’. But I don’t put on weight. Great.
Lucky. Fortuitous metabolism. Exemplary genes (ever seen a fat
Labrador?)

But that doesn’t mean, at the grand old age of 62, that the weight I
do have won’t change its distribution around my body. ‘It all goes
south’ as the saying goes. And in my case, I have developed these
horrible ‘love handles’ at the sides of my waist. My stomach is as
flat as it was when I was 16 but these 2 little ‘things’ hang over the
side of my jeans and I hate that. It bespeaks ‘unhealthy’.

So I decided to take affirmative action. Grab the bull by the horns,
but not, on this occasion, to eat it, top to tail. So we’re doing the
5-2 diet. ‘We’ because Mel loves anything health and fitness related
and would never miss the opportunity for some masochistic deprivation.

On Monday (day 1) I went to Pret and bought a salad for lunch. 125
calories. Tuna, egg, lots of good, healthy, tasteless shit. Came with
a little pot of dressing, which it so desperately needed. But that
tiny pot held an extra 325 calories on its own, should you and your
conscience choose to deploy it.

Today is day 2. But I’ve been helped. Had a ‘eureka’ moment. Well, a
‘eureka’ program on tv last night. A documentary basically debunking
each and every eating craze and fad currently obsessing the first
world. And it was wonderful and it was systematic. From
‘multi-vitamins’ which are just a way of producing high cost urine
with no benefit to the host body, to ‘anti-oxidants’ which, in
‘Smoothie quantity’ don’t really anti-oxidise at all. And from ‘detox’
(basically eating/drinking totally unpleasant shit for a week with
ABOLUTELY NO HEALTH BENEFIT WHATSOEVER), to showing that bacon
(grilled) and eggs (boiled) is a breakfast way more beneficial than
either multigrain cereal or fruit and yogurt. But best of all was
water. THE obsession of the naughties. Water offers no more
hydratating benefits than does coffee. The best drink of all is milk.
Not almond (fucking) milk or soya (sodding) milk, nor dandelion, kale
or aardvark milk, but good, proppa milk from a cow.

So I thought: its all such bollocks. Just eat normally but CUT OUT THE
ADDED STUFF. LOTS OF THE ADDED STUFF. How hard can it be? (The photo
is my desk).

Happy thinner, healthier Wednesday

A xxxx