So I have a MASSSSSIVE problem. Simply massive. Its 30 degrees here at the Dead Sea, having cooled down since the day’s activities. And now, 2 hours ahead of British Summer Time, the football’s on. Not, like, on tv, no, bloody savages round here wouldn’t be so bloody cooperative as to do that, would they??? No, I have to go to the BBC web-page and keep refreshing it. And the problem is: the wifi coverage in the pool area is simply awful. But this is where I want to be. Rather than sitting in the super wi-fi reception area like a sad and sorry bastard. I’ve told Mel, if she was a proper wife, she’d sit in reception and run back here, very quickly, every time Palace score against Chelsea, Man City score yet another against Stoke or, obviously, should Spurs score against Bournemouth. For some reason her love for me is insufficient for her to do that. And I don’t have a butler here either. This is just AWFUL!!!

Meanwhile, first world problems aside, I love it here. Haven’t been down here since 1974 but when you’re considering its all about geological time, those 43 years represent half a milli-second. The dead sea is in fact losing 1 metre of depth every year but there’s not a lot I can do about that really. The odd thing is, it doesn’t look real. Because its massive yet the surface doesn’t move. The water, the saltiest in the world, is thick and viscous and there’s no waves or tides because… because there aren’t. So it just sits there looking majestic. And a bit surreal. With Jordan on the other side.

The ‘dead sea cosmetics’ company, Ahava, have been greatly affected by the assholes of the world who have adopted the ‘BDS’ against Israel, banning products made by Israeli companies on the West Bank. So Ahava have no choice but to move their factory out of the West Bank and into Israel. Right here in fact. Which will cause the loss of hundreds of Palestinians’ jobs. How does that benefit them, exactly? They become unemployed so a bunch of pseudo-lefty, right-on, middle-class history professors at SOAS can feel smug in their anti-semitic zeal. That’s fair.

This hotel employs refugees from Eritrea, Sudan and Yemen. The chamber-maids are local Bedouin women. The front desk staff are Jordanians, Egyptians, Lebanese. But you’ll never hear of such things on the BBC.

Right, back to the football. Nil, nil at half time? How is that even possible???

Happy Saturday

A xxxx