The world needed a new word, and here it is: foneley. Its neat, succinct, durable(?), errr… washable, comes with a 2-year warranty and is very flexible in usage.

Foneley Harry Kane would’a kept that shot down. Foneley I could have caught the earlier train. Foneley that tennis ball would have stayed the right side of the f-f-foneley line.

Its compatible with all languages, long as they’re English, and it never runs out of charge. So there you are. And its free. At the point of usage.

I’m so bored with Brexit. Foneley the great unwashed weren’t allowed to vote. Foneley the politicians hadn’t all told lies. Foneley we could have seen the future and realised that it pretty much doesn’t exist. Foneley.

Even the Europeans, the Barniers and Tusks and Junkers and all those horrible, nasty, anti-British foreign people are bored with waiting. ‘Bring us a plan’, they demand. ‘Anything’. Ok, so they can shoot it down in the fucking water, but at least that would be movement. But it ain’t happening. The government can’t agree what terms and conditions they want the Euros to reject. Which they obviously will, its what European parliament always does; reject proposals until 63 new laws have been introduced to ratify the situation.

We can have a ‘soft Brexit’ in which so little changes that it really isn’t a Brexit at all. More a Br-stays the same. The good thing is we retain free trade which means all those overseas companies manufacturing here would have no need to relocate to mainland Europe to save export taxes. The bad thing is that we’d have to have open borders, free passage to Romanian pickpockets and we’d still be answerable to the European legal framework. Ireland would remain Ireland.

If we opt for ‘hard Brexit’, we basically tell all those horrible people listed above to fuck off because they’re no longer needed in our lives. Companies would possibly leave, taking lots and lots of jobs and giving them to French or German workers, who we hate, at least til the World Cup is over. We’d shut our borders to everyone, except possibly skilled workers, whatever that might be, and crop-pickers, who we need. Ireland will become a massive problem. Which is nothing new, but in a different way.

I think the Labour Party has it about right. Do nothing, say nothing, spare all opinions and hope it goes away. Good to have positive opposition.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx