Because I’m the ultimate, post-modernist, post-feminist, urbane, right-on, woke kind of dude, many people assume I would be a vegan. Ok, only when I’m wearing sandals, obviously, and when sporting a benevolent, beautific kind of almost-sincere smile, but in fact I’m not. I’ll eat road-kill if its reasonably fresh. Raw and on-the-bone. With fur.

So when people make a big fuss, but like a BIIIIIIIGGG fuss about a restaurant, I make certain assumptions. Firstly and most importantly that there’ll be loads of meat. Big meats. All sorts. Think ‘hungry lion’ and you’ll understand. A lack of asparagus in my life is NOT a problem.

Imagine my horror then when I arrived at that very restaurant and saw the ‘vegetarian menu’ looking up at me defiantly from the table. Ok, no problem, I’ll just turn it over and see… ‘VEGAN MENU!!!!’ I turned it over once more, hoping for a kind of Harry Potter moment where there’d be ‘MEAT’. But… but… but…

And for that I’d shlepped all the way to Shoreditch. Or Aldgate. Depending on whether you’re buying or selling. The dress code is ‘hip’. Or in my case, ‘dodgy hip’, but I don’t think I’m the target audience in London’s most happenin’ place. And if Shoreditch is ‘happenin’ then the restaurant Bubala is its epicentre.

I’ve read nothing but rave reviews about the place since it opened. And hearing stunning reports from everyone who’s been there. Which is why it took a world pandemic to be finally able to book a table. Because its small. Neat. Hip. Which you can tell because its studiously unadorned. And doesn’t serve meat. In case you missed that.

I was tragically disappointed. Almost to the point of tears. Because it was possibly the most outstanding meal I’ve ever eaten. It was different. Everything was original. And amazing. And wow! But like WOW!!! Everything is for ‘sharing’, which is a bit of a problem, for Mel in particular, but her hands will heal in time. Incredible dishes, loosely ‘middle-eastern’, very contemporary Israeli, a bit of Moroccan, some old world Jewish thrown in brilliantly and every dish (there are nine in all) presented and prepared wonderfully. Even the service was brilliant. Nicest waiting staff you can find outside of my kitchen. So imagine my problem. Its a vegetarian (or worse; vegan) restaurant which I loved to the point where I will never eat anywhere else again.

It passed the ‘curry test’. Which is, loosely, I really enjoyed that ‘blackened cod’ at 65 quid and a bowl of rice for 15 quid in a pretentious upmarket and up-itself fine dinery, but would I have preferred a curry?

Book now. But be warned: serious risk of enjoying a non-meat meal!!!

Happy next day

A xxxx