Talk about football? I don’t even want to think about football. It’s a horrible game that I used to follow a bit, just when nothing else was ‘appening. Which is in fact, 9 months each year. But now its just a horrible, racist, scummy, vile game and… and… and…

And I don’t wanna ‘play’ any more.

So now I’m into the community protection game. As you can see by this photo, which is simply oozing threat and malice and danger! Mainly to myself in case I bang the bokken against my head accidentally. Yes, its a bokken. Martial arts thing. Very different from a normal, errr, piece of wood, in that its more… martial arty. A normal piece of wood could hurt someone if banged repeatedly against their head. This one does something similar but in Chinese. So its different. Should be for what if fucking cost.

A message came round on a local message thingy about a burglary on Wednesday night. We’d heard the police helicopter which attended and pursued the baddies. Who forced their way into a home with people inside, kids, really horrid and nasty. The noise from the chopper disturbed a particularly tricky 2 diamond contract I had declared at the bridge table and I was going to complain to the authorities.

I got the message in the morning. And 10 minutes later the house alarm opposite went off. Ok, alarms go off all the time. But… that message… baddies… police chases… and now an alarm.

I have the keys. So I went and beeped the alarm off from 20 paces. But I had to go check. Because I’m a good neighbour (possibly the best, maybe even the most stupid) and because l just had to. And as I’d just come back from my Tai Chi, there was my bokken. I don’t have a gun, not yet anyway, and knives are messy and there was no baseball bat. And although I wouldn’t want to deploy a bokken in my own house, because Mel would have to clean up all the things broken, I really didn’t mind in their house.

But our hero only found an empty orderly home with all points of entry in tact and nothing edible left lying around.

So we can’t talk football, we certainly will NEVER mention fucking Brexit again, but there’s rugby. Loads and loads of truly amazing rugby. Best World Cup ever.

Happy intrepid Sunday

A xxxx