So football decided, in a fit of FOMO on Thursday, to cancel all football matches this weekend. If I’m honest, I can live without it. Just for one weekend. No more. But then one needs to question: why? What is the purpose of cancelling a hundred games of football, all of which will need playing later in the season when it all gets jammed up with European football (Spurs), lesser European football (Arsenal), the World fucking Cup in Qatar (3 weeks in winter during the busy schedule) and anything else that may happen in between. But that’s just looking at it from a footballing perspective.

The other side of the issue is that, unlike in cricket, rugby, horse-racing and all other nice, sensibly-led sports, football appears to be run by assholes. Who have deprived their paying customers the right to demonstrate their sorrow. A minute’s silence, or even (as it was the Queen) 2 minutes, is incredibly powerful at a stadium filled with 20, 30, 50 thousand fans, all of whom are noisy even when they’re not singing their songs or racially abusing players. Silence is a potent symbol at football matches, and now there’ll be no opportunity to make that gesture.

Next weekend has become very difficult too, because the funeral is on Monday so thousands of police are needing to be redeployed to protect Her Majesty and make sure Albanians don’t steal her body to sell to Chinese collectors. And therefore won’t be available to police matches on Sunday, if not Saturday too.

So a brief message to Richard Masters, the CEO of the Premier League, and to David Baldwin, CEO of the football league: you fucked up.

People seem to be worried that Charles will continue ‘interfering’ in politics. Green issues, farming stuff, he’s always been engaged. Yet said himself in his first ever kingly speech that he now has to act like a King, not a semi-green adulterous crop-junky. He will be reigned in. (That’s a serious pun which I hope you enjoy. Especially as it originally appeared merely as a consequence of my almost-dyslexic shit spelling.)

Happy day 4 of the new King

A xxxx