That quaint little expression, ‘football crazy’ used to mean obsessed with the game. Lovin’ every minute. Can’t get enough. Fab. Then they invented Spurs. And it became a bit more literal. Crazy as in less ‘wild!’ and more ‘insane’. Driven to distraction. Chewing the furniture. Banging heads against walls and screaming. Not in pain. The pain’s welcome, screaming in anger and frustration. Will need medication or locking up soon.

Because there we were; buoyed by a wonderful drubbing of West Ham last weekend and further engaged after a 1-nil win over AZ Alkmaar on Thursday night. So on Sunday, as we took our seats at Selhurst Park… ok, in the lounge, who the fuck wants to go to South London, even for Spurs?, but I looked and saw that Crystal Palace were bottom three. 8 games, no wins. 3 draws, but that’s it. And then there was Spurs. The mighty Spurs. Strutting onto the pitch. Like the heroes they aspire to be. Yet have a history of not quite reaching that aspiration. You can’t win games by sense of destiny alone. You need to score goals. Like we did with seeming ease against West Ham. Even against Manchester United. Possibly contributing to Erik Ten Hag’s dismissal from Old Trafford yesterday. After his two years of proving that you can’t win games by misplaced sense of entitlement alone. Otherwise Liverpool would win everything. But never mind, Ineos wasn’t built in a day.

So back to Selhurst Park. We were shit. They were good for a team so lowly. So we lost. One of the (very many) ‘easy’ matches that we manage to lose every year. But at least we’re consistent in that and consistency is a trait worth having.

So Manchester City went top. Where, let’s face it, the only way they won’t stay there all season would be for legal reasons and points deductions. And as Rodri hobbled his way on crutches to receive his Ballon D’or on Sunday, deservedly, it must be said, I wonder if Man United’s two ‘stars’ were even in the hall. They had travel issues, so Jim Radcliffe asked if they could ‘hitch’ a ride on Man City’s plane. The request was denied. Sorry, they were told, there’s no room. Even in economy. Radcliffe offered them some air miles but still it was rejected. City are owned by Etihad. The airline. And they couldn’t find room for the United boys. Maybe they felt that United players emit a certain toxicity at the moment which might be detrimental to their team.

Arsenal and Liverpool slugged it out at the other UAE airline, The Emirates, and couldn’t find a winner. Just a moaning Arteta.

So that’s it. Nearly November and the season’s decided already. City win, Liverpool, Arsenal and Villa (not Chelsea, anyone but Chelsea) in the Champions League, and Spurs (if we’re lucky) playing in the Europa Division 3 League. I’m booking my flights now to Jutland and Macedonia.

I hate football.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx