What’s the purpose of a Mayor? What are they for? What do they do? What’s their raison d’etre??
Their alleged role is to represent the city to which they do their mayoring, to act as figurehead, spokesperson, head of the city council and mouthpiece for that entire metropolis. And all who sail in it.

Ken Livingstone, London’s first mayor since Dick Whittington, took his role as champion of the underdog and chose to demonstrate how open and accepting and multi-cultural and wonderful we as a city are by inviting as many terrorists as he could to have tea with him in City Hall. Anyone banned from the country, anyone wanted by the police, Ken would make them a nice cuppa Brooke Bond and open the chocolate biscuits. Which we’d fucking paid for.

Boris Johnson came with a slightly trickier past, having shagged his way round the posher totty of the right-wing journalistic world, whilst married to his poor, long-suffering, and brought his reputation for ‘laughs first, serious shit later’ with him. Though its served him surprisingly well. Some view him as a joke, as a buffoon, with his blond mop and seeming inability to take anything seriously unless its wearing a dangerously low cut top and ‘fuck me’ heels.

And then there’s Rob Ford.
WHO???
The mayor of Toronto. In name only currently, because he’s a sinner. Big time sinner. And Toronto is generally a very tolerant and forgiving place. Its simply too cold there to act otherwise. Yeah, I forgive you, can we go back to the lovely roaring fireside now?

Rob Ford was filmed smoking crack cocaine. Some might think this unacceptable for an elected representative of a major city. But I’ll give him some leeway because its not like he’s the head of a British bank or anything. Then he drove whilst drunk, arrived at council meetings pissed, bought various other hard drugs, offered oral sex to a female colleague (so he’s not all bad), though not, on record, to any male colleagues, so a bit of sexism going on there too, and he’s generally a fat ugly fair-haired slob with major problems. In fact he IS Paul Flowers without the moustache and the gay porn on his work computer.

But unlike Flowers, Rob Ford won’t resign. Instead he offered up the usual ‘get out of jail’ card for politicians: “I MADE SOME MISTAKES; THEY’RE PAST, LET’S MOVE ON”.
Fuckwit.

Tony Blair famously ‘smoked a joint when he was 19’ as did Bill Clinton who ‘didn’t inhale’ (waste’a someone’s dope that was then) when a student. Forgivable. The folly of youth. But Ford’s ‘mistakes’ are right here and now. They’re ongoing. His confession should read: I’M MAKING SOME MISTAKES, THEY’LL BE OVER SOON. But they won’t. You can cure addiction, you can cure a fat belly, but you can’t cure an arrogant, drug-addled piece of shit. It says so in all the medical books. And its time Canadia stopped being such a bloody nice place full of such bloody nice tolerant, nice, lovely people and banished this horrible man to exile. Montreal maybe, they’d hardly notice him among all those Frenchies.

Me mate Canadian Dave is beside himself with worry over his city (doh: Toronto; try and keep up). His mayor is giving hard drugs a bad name.

Happy Friday

A xxxx