A win’s a win, right? In football you can ‘win dirty’, you can ‘win ugly’, you can do it any way you can, because then, to the victor the spoils. 3 points, job done, move on to the next match.

Politics is different. I know that’s a shocker, but it is. Football is about fighting for the badge, politics more… fighting for yourself. Shouldn’t be, but that’s the way it is. How bizarre that in many respects there is more honour, dignity and integrity in our national sport than in our national government. Particularly when one considers the participants of both activities. And yet I would trust a half-tattooed, pony-tailed, semi-literate Northern half-wit more willingly than any plummy, suited-up Oxbridge ponce from the Cabinet office. (I mean no offence to Northern half-wits in any way shape or form and wish to apologise to approximately 3/4s of the country for implying their dimness in my analogy. But facts are facts).

And so to victory. Boris’s, last night. Hooray, cheered The Blonde, I won!! They love me!! The ultimate plummy Oxbridge ponce, Jacob Rees-Mog, immediately stood up, in his father’s 1945 de-mob suit, to proclaim, “you only need to win by a majority of 1”. Which either shows his total ignorance of the reality of Boris’s catastrophic ‘victory’ in his ‘vote of confidence’, or demonstrates that when it comes to sucking up to his PM, JR-M knows no bounds, and metaphorically spends his time on his knees like Monica Lewinsky.

Over 40% of his own MPs, his own parliamentary party, have no confidence in him. Their own leader, FFS, and, like the rest of us, they’d trust him as far as they could throw him. And Boris needs those 40%, without whom he can’t pass laws, he can’t win votes in parliament, he is the ‘lame duck’ of whom we hear spoken about in such circumstances. Minister-without-Mates is the new portfolio being set up now. And historically, leaders who win no confidence votes do not last long. Would the Tories even want him to lead them to the next election when no-one trusts the man? Labour would like that. Though they too may be leaderless if Sir Kier gets fined for eating his curry in Durham. So party divisions will destroy the government and the opposition is lead by a plonker who may need to be replaced with a different plonker.

It’s all a shit storm.

Happy birthday to Lila’s mummy

A xxxx