A lot of people think I suffer from Tourette’s. I was tested. By some fucker who was just shit. Total tosser. Who diagnosed that I have ‘foul mouth syndrome’. Its similar to Tourette’s in that vile, inappropriate words and phrases are shouted out seemingly at random but often very relevant times, but in my case, its just because I’m a c**t. I swear a lot. And the massively important difference is that my foul mouth is because I choose when and where I swear and the words are completely conscious and calculated. Whereas in Tourette’s, the condition is defined by outbursts which are not under any conscious control or filters or awareness. In fact the true criterion for Tourette’s is tics and spasms, again, obviously, uncontrolled. Not all sufferers swear and shout, but those who do exhibit as little control over their oral output as they have over their tics and twitches. The words are simply vocal manifestations of those tics. It is a horrible and totally debilitating condition. Which doesn’t mean it’s not funny to see, but it must be a total curse to live with.

Poor John Davidson. A famous Tourette’s sufferer and campaigner. He went to the BAFTAs because the movie ‘I Swear’ is basically his story. A proud moment for him. Not from a vain point of view but for its power to raise awareness of his condition. He seems to be a really lovely guy. The movie won best actor for Robert Aramayo, who beat Leonardo di Caprio and Timothee Chalamet to the gong. Brilliant.

And then ‘the moment’. When two guys went up to introduce the next award. Both were black. And as they arrived at the dais, John Davidson shouted out ‘2 N***ERS!’. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t think it. It didn’t reflect any value or opinion he holds. It just happened.

The 2 men froze, looked totally shocked, as ya would, and then coolly carried on as if nothing had happened. Although not totally. Because nothing is as shocking as hearing the ‘n-word’. I get that. Especially if you’re a b-person.

What they should have done was laugh. I cannot think of any insult, slur, comment, observation of physical differentness, question of race, colour or the length of my penis, that I wouldn’t have laughed at. But heh, its easy for me to say that.

The BBC had played the award ceremony on a 2-hour delay. So they could edit out anything offensive or bad or wrong. Yet chose, as they tend to in such circumstances (Bob Vylan at Glastonbury, anybody?), to play the offensive words anyway. Why? Because they are tossers.

I do find it fascinating that although Tourette’s sufferers have no control over the flow of obscenities or stuff that comes out during their outbursts, it is always ‘relevant’ in some way. Its almost as if whatever is unconsciously thought as ‘something you MUSTN’T say’, is what gets shouted out loud.

John Davidson did nothing wrong. The BBC did lots wrong. And why do I find so many things to be ‘funny’ whilst others are fuming? Fuck ’em.

Happy FUCKING Tuesday

A xxxx