So its started, the battle for the ultimate prize of running a nation devastated by a pandemic, riddled with industrial action, impoverished by the greatest cost of living crisis of all time coupled with massive inflation, on the verge of going to war with Russia and… did I miss anything?

Though on the plus side, its the Wimbledon finals this weekend and the sun’s shining. So its not all bad for the incoming new Prime Minister, once we’ve worked out the ‘least of evils’.

And they are evil. Most of them had already organised their campaigns and social media messages whilst still overtly supporting Boris ‘to the end’. So all of them are two-faced. We get that. That’s politics. So you need other criteria to separate the bastards from the self-servers from the megalomaniacs from the no-hopers (Jeremy Hunt).

So we listen to their tales.

Nadhim Zahawi was an Iraqi refugee, arrived penniless, ate gravel, paper bags for shoes, usual story, and amassed a ‘fortune’ in property before going into politics. And that’s where his own dilemma lies, the one which will probably kill him. As a ‘fortune builder’ registering holding companies in offshore tax havens is seen as ‘shrewd’ and ‘clever’ and ‘canny’. Then, as soon as you are in government, those terms all change to ‘conniving’, ‘cheating’, ‘tax-dodging’ and will be the end of unquestionably the mostest, biggest, ultimatest two-faced of them all.

Rishi has a rags to riches story too. These stories are important. They tell us ‘anyone can do it!!! Regardless of upbringing, social status, anything!!!’ Unfortunately, Rishi tells his mum’s story. Came over from Kenya, ate gravel, paper bags for shoes, etc, but became a pharmacist and ‘rose above her humble beginnings’. Alas, she rose so far above them that Rishi’s own story is one of abject privilege. Winchester school, Oxford, Harvard, marry a billionare’s daughter. So although the people of Rochdale may admire Rishi’s mum, as we all now do, they’re gonna fucking hate Rishi, possibly even more than they do simply for being a rich bastard.

And as far as I can see, the only good thing to come out of this ‘race’ will be the levels of nastiness all the candidates will use upon their ‘friends’ and ‘colleagues’, all the character assassinations, the insinuations of impropriety, the outright gossip… just to show us what nice, discerning people they themselves really are.

My Joey’s a nice person. He’s a fireman. So he went yesterday to what he calls the ‘Armayref Museum’ to help out. We call it the RAF museum, but whose to say whose right?

Happy Saturday

A xxxx