So the day we arrived in Israel we headed straight down to the Ramon Crater, remember? Hot place. Desert. Hole therein. Crater. That’s in the negev, just a bit north of Eilat which is on the Red Sea. Then we came to Hertzliya, just north of Tel Aviv, because its nice here. Still hot but not perhaps sufficient to boil the testicles of a nearby camel. Mainly because there aren’t any here. They’re desert creatures, you don’t generally find them in big cities. Though if you need one…

So today we went the other way. Up norf. Which, trust me, is not like heading up the M1 to Leeds, Bradford, Manchester or anywhere, kind’a ‘northern’ in that fat-bellied, beer-swilling, Liam Gallagher kind’a way. No, this was up north to the Golan Heights. To a kibbutz called Merem Golan. Which, like most kibbutzim (that’s the plural, as ‘kibbutzes’ is an old Polish delicacy involving cow’s feet, chicken’s heads and soured cream. With rice) is massive, spread out and absolutely gorgeous. Up in the mountains, the air’s clean, the car’s are few and they grow apples, grapes, cows, chickens, anything that grows, grows better up there.

Its also 2km from the Syrian border. 50k from Damascus. (The little red pin on the map). In fact the Golan Heights used to be Syria, but Israel borrowed it and hasn’t given it back yet. And apparently we picked ‘the right day to go there’. Because of a Muslim holy week, all the 37 warring factions in that god-forsaken land have actually stopped fighting. Today. Yesterday on the kibbutz they could hear artillery and machine-gun fire all day, today nothing. By tomorrow, someone will have broken the cease-fire and it’ll all kick off again. But today; ahhhhhh, peace.

We didn’t go there for the peace. Nor really for the gunfire. We went because we have a friend there who is a sculptor. A big Dutch guy (originally) who makes amazing things out of scrap metal. But, like, everything from little mantlepiece characters to life-size elephants and one 5 metre long dog. He likes iron and he likes making it into stuff that’s really quirky and funny. And so we bought a little something for the garden. It is relatively little otherwise shipping costs are seriously punitive. Once its installed I’ll show you. Til then, you can fucking wait, like the rest of us.

On the way back we drove round the top end of the Sea of Galilee. Possibly the bit Jesus actually walked on. Possibly not. And that too is a remarkably beautiful place.

And tonight, we shall eat schwarma, as it is written, cos we’re too tired to venture far. And having travelled about 400km already today, I’m not getting back into that poxy car again.

Happy Monday

A xxxx