The next leader of the Conservative Party is to be a woman. Hence the next Prime Minister of all of Great Britain (and its empire?) will be a woman. Though maybe a woman with children is ‘more of a woman’ than one without?? As implied, then denied vigorously, by Andrea Leadsom yesterday. Who then won the support of ‘Britain First’ (no, I’d never heard of them either) a ‘far right party who hate Theresa May because she wore a headscarf when visiting a mosque!!!! Making her a closet jihadi. In the mind of Britain First. Assuming they have one.

Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership of the Labour Party is being challenged by a woman who is to stand against him. And I’m sure Angela Eagle won’t mind me commenting that she has as much gravitas as Charles Hawtry in Carry On Up the Khyber, as much class as Barbara Windsor in Carry On Up the Khyber and as much statesmanship as a dustpan and brush. Which she in fact resembles. In certain light.

And now, Suzanne Evans (who?????) the ‘most famous of all female UKIP… people’ has announced that she wants to lead the party after Nigel (Mr UKIP) Farage’s departure as that shabby organisation’s head. Furthermore, Suzanne’s aims are to ‘rid the party of racists, homphobes and sexists and stop it banging on about immigrants’. In other words: UKIP will simply cease to exist. There will be nothing left at all. Delete those things from their manifesto and you are left with the blankest of blank pages. Which is all fine anyway because Suzy is currently suspended from her party anyway. So its all even more bollocks than it already was.

Should Hilary Clinton become president of America, the first ever ‘Mrs President’, making Bill Clinton ‘The First Man’, like Adam, or the First Gentleman? Very doubtful; ask Monica Lewinsky. Maybe, in line with all this sudden political egalitarianism: The First Person.

Should Andy Murray win at Wimbledon today (if it ever stops faaaarkin’ rainin’: though I s’pose they could put the roof on) I wonder if that’ll raise his popularity sufficiently to get a waxwork at Madame Toussauds. Where the runners up from the last 17 ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ are displayed, the milkman from Clapham Common and various bloggers who no-one’s ever seen. But not Murray. Why? Because, according to London’s most visited total waste of time and money, ‘he’s just not popular enough’. Bastard, French, anti-Scottish bastards. (Andy Murray is not a girl. He just acts like one. And I mean that in a completely non-sexist, non-judgmental, non-stereotypical way. Of course.)

Happy Sunday

A xxxx