Man United didn’t win a game!!! Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is shit. Sack him. After a winning start of 8 consecutive matches since Morinho was kicked out (doubtless every win causing him increasing pain, suffering, humiliation and hurt, but probably no self-dout whatsoever), United were lucky to draw at home to Burnley last night. And then only due to a penalty in the 92nd minute. In ‘Fergie-time’. Or ‘Ole-time’ as we now call it.

Whereas local rivals Manchester City, (used to be the ‘also rans’ of the Manc set; the ‘Everton’ to United’s ‘Liverpool’ the ‘Luton to Watford’, the Arsenal to Spurs, but then acquired a squillionaire money-laundering, financial-fair-play-flaunting cash cow Sheikh and have won every game since; just coincidence) went to Newcastle. Who are having their worst season since… well, they’re all pretty bad but this one was seemingly even more precarious than usual, teetering around the drop-zone. City went 1-0 up after just 1 minute of play. And probably thought ‘ere we go. As they have scored bucketloads of goals this year. But their well apparently dried up and Newcastle managed 2 of their own to take the game. And the points.

Which means if Liverpool beat Leicester tonight at Anfield, they go 7 points clear at the top. And I know its only January (just) but that’s getting on for a ‘mind the gap’, as we say at Embankment tube station. Of course Liverpool could lose. And that’s why we love football. Anything can happen. If Newcastle can beat City, all bets are off.

Spurs are playing Watford. I’m playing bridge. But will be glued to… whatever I can find that won’t interrupt the other (bridge) players but will keep me appraised of all events at Wembley which will be crucial to my cards. Son is back. Many others aren’t. But in an interview yesterday our saintly manager swore his allegiance to the blue-and-white cockerel and that gives up hope against hope. Man United can keep Ole, even though they only drew last night, and Poch stays at the Lane. Assuming we ever get back to ‘the Lane’.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx

PS I want you to try Lila’s pilates pose. Legs straight, hands and feet flat on the floor. Its easy. Unless you’re over 3.