I really couldn’t care less if David Cameron wants to give a knighthood to the Lithuanian refugee who washed his ministerial car every thursday. The man did a good job, the car was always shiny. Arise Sir Herkus. And Samantha always looked lovely. Shiny hair, polished nails, lovely dresses. Which totally justifies giving out OBEs and MBEs and CBEs to her entire team of hairdressers, stylists, nail buffers and foot massagers. Fully justified. Though it doesn’t need to be justified by anyone. Its tradition.

Outgoing Prime Ministers get to ‘honour’ all their mates, their helpers, their supporters. They’re allowed to band about ‘gongs’ to all and sundry. To window cleaners and secretaries and political supporters and aromatherapy gurus and fitness trainers. Its what happens.

Where I personally draw the line is at anyone who ever ‘donated’. Either to the party itself or to the ‘remain campaign’. Otherwise it looks like a reward. Like they’ve ‘bought’ the honour with their money. And as the entire ‘honours’ system is totally overblown and stupid anyway, its best to avoid making it any more so by giving dubious awards to billionaires. And that’s all I’m prepared to say about it. Unless I want to say more.

The Olympics start today. Even though the official opening is not til Friday. Rio is the place to be. Particularly if you’re a builder, so you can hopefully finish the stadia, which are in some cases quite some way from ‘ready’. Or if you’re a dope-tester, obviously, or if you’re a health and safety officer as a lot of the work that is finished ain’t very good. As in: “when your taking your run up for the long jump, veer to the left a bit otherwise the track might collapse where the loose bolt is”. There again, pre-olympics are always a bit shambolic. There’s always a ‘BUT ITS NOT FINISHED YET!!!!’ deal otherwise you wouldn’t be sure its the Olympic Games.

But Rio has other issues. The water is full’a shit. But literally so. Sewage is washed into the bays, along with lots of other rubbish, chemicals, detergents, radioactive waste… and that’s where the sailing, rowing and open-water swimming will take place. Add in the ever-present threat of muggings, the Zika virus and the danger from eating way to much beef (I’ve been there, the beef’s wonderful, and much bigger than beefs here) and Rio is where its at.

The contemporary Girl from Ipanema got mugged on her way to hospital with suspected Zika virus, bacterial infection of the gut and diarrhoea.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx