People always say to me: ‘how do you find the time to write a blog?’, along with ‘why do you bother?’ and ‘how much time have you spent in prison/rehab/offenders units?’

And the answer to the first question is; I make time. Cos it don’t take that long. Once I’ve ‘engaged’ in a topic, which normally happens somewhere between a bottle of shower gel and a banana, the words are just eager to fly forth, from my brain to my fingertips, in a whirl, a whizz a… something else very quick beginning with a ‘w’. Maybe a ‘wankel rotary engine’. Anyway. The words have to be liberated into the world because they are generally too toxic to keep in my head and may lead to injury. So I blog for health & safety reasons. How long does it take? Sometimes 20 min, maximum half an hour. Then I’m done and at work.

And today I had to be in early. Which happens. And I might still have had time before leaving for the big City but…

But Lila had us up at 4.20 yesterday morning. Not, like, woke up for a bit, or even, disturbed our sleep, but was up, up UP! At 4.20. For the day. So this morning I just couldn’t drag myself out of bed for any kind of ‘early start’. Just weren’t gonna happen.

By the time I was up Theresa May had announced the date of her retirement party if not the actual venue. June 7th. Lila’s mum’s birthday. PM’s gone. And I’d like to apply for the job. Qualifications? Jesus, we’re talking about Boris fucking Johnson for the job and you’re asking ME about qualifications??? I’m alive, I’m a person and not a stupid blond tosser. That qualified enough for you? And I’d be a good PM; a bit of a remainer, like the last one, but no stiletto heels. I’d sort out Europe, particularly the Champions League bit, and I’d get up early when Lila stays. I also have no objections to driving round in a very powerful Jag, spewing out pollution and emissions, accompanied by a fleet of ‘security’ in Range Rovers who are (environmentally) much worse. That would bother many. Not me.

Anyway, my daughter’s in Labour (the child-birthing version, definitely not the political party) so I better go and get involved. With something.

Very happy Friday

A xxxx