Iain Duncan Smith has resigned his post of work and pensions secretary. And I’m going to miss him.

He was at one time the leader of the conservative party but lost his job due to excessive blandness and the almost unique ability of making the most exciting thing totally dull and boring in his expressing of it. He could tell wondrous tales of thrills and horrors that could put an insomniac to sleep in 22 seconds.

And now he’s gone. Well, he’s still an MP, I suppose, but no longer the welfare minister, as such a position used to be known. And all because the welfare changes that he proposed were horrible, nasty, discriminatory and unacceptable in any fair and just society.

Sounds a bit odd really; he can no longer live with the injustices put into place by his own department. You’d shoot yourself really, rather than resign, were that the case. Yet he didn’t. He slagged off George Osborne instead. Which just shows that he may be bland, but he’s not totally stupid. Or that he doesn’t own a gun.

And one can only assume that all the policies and cut-backs made under his watch, of which he is so retrospectively unhappy, were in fact made under duress by the Chancellor. And the last in the long line of those cuts, the proposed (but now in fact withdrawn about an hour before IDS handed in his resignation) changes to disability payments, was his final straw. He wrote so in his letter to Cameron. Basically stating that he couldn’t live with cutting benefits to the disabled in order to fund tax relief on pole dance club expenses and heating supplements for yachts. Ok, maybe I exaggerate a touch but that was the gist.

Meanwhile, in Molenbeek, they caught Salah Abdeslam, the last of the Paris murdering scumbags. Yet how big a scumbag is Salah?? Even from the very high starting point of all mass-murderers? Because although his brother died in Paris, with his suicide vest, Salah actually took his off and thus ran away. And generally jihadis are never caught, they die. Yet Salah didn’t die. He was shot in the leg. Mainly because he was unarmed. And why was he unarmed? Because he’s a yeller-bellied scumbag. So now they can ‘interrogate’ him. Which normally you wouldn’t imagine bearing much fruit, information-wise. But this guy shows a bit of lack of commitment to me. I think he might talk. Get the nipple electrodes ready, its time for a chat. How do you spell ‘water-boarding’?

Happy Saturday. Will fucking Leicester NEVER lose a fucking game???

A xxxx