Pugnacious Arsenal midfield moron, Jack Wilshere, has complained after the Football Association found him guilty of misconduct at the Arsenal FA Cup celebrations. What he did, or said in this case, is largely unimportant. His justification is far more interesting. In that he feels hard done by for this punishment (a fine, in all likelihood, probably in the region of £9.95 + vat, for someone who earns 100,000 a week) on the grounds that ‘he was just having fun and enjoying himself’.

The old ‘it was just a bit of fun’ plea. As used by gang rapists, bullies the world over, queer-bashers, those who taunt overweight schoolgirls to suicide, and possibly ISIS. Just a bit of fun.

So it all becomes a matter of whether one man’s ‘fun’ can be considered as such when it is at the expense of someone else’s displeasure or misfortune. Jack kind’a misses that point. If its fun for him then the world is a happier place.

Well think again, Jacky-boy. Because what he was chanting was that ‘Tottenham are shit’. And when I heard that I was stunned and shocked. Because Tottenham are lovely. Everyone knows that. They are God’s own team. They play in white, they are filled with fine, upstanding men who perform acts of charity and kindness on a regular basis. Normally by donating the ball back to the other team when they have it, but again, that’s not the point there.

The point is that I was shocked. Maybe Spurs are shit? I pondered this deeply (whilst eating a pizza) and found that because of Jack’s words maybe I need to reassess the longest love of my lifetime (other than my parents). And I’m now in turmoil. Full emotional, psychological and mental melt-down (fortunately it doesn’t affect my appetite) just because of Jack Wilshere having ‘a bit of fun’. What a total bastard.

David Cameron is also going to be fined for saying something stupid in the heat of the moment. He was just ‘having a bit of fun’ when he declared that any minister supporting an exit from Europe would be sacked. Stated clearly and unambiguously. Until the next day when it all became a case of ‘misinterpretation’. Of course he didn’t mean that, no, not possibly, just a ‘misinterpretation’, silly mistake. Here, have a U-turn, with my compliments.

Be careful what you say. And have some fun while saying it.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx