Everyone’s favourite ex-president, possibly future-president, has spent the last 3 weeks doing the Intensive Super Zoolander Course for ‘The Look’. At the end of which he had to pick The Pose which would define him, his election campaign and be The Image for making America even more greater-er than it was last time he spent four years repeating everything he said twice. And this was the winner.

Its called ‘No Surrender’. Which, when you are, officially ‘surrendering yourself to the court’, would be something of an irony, if Trump even understood what that meant. He had other options, after 2,317 hours in front of a mirror. He had ‘Tosser in a Trance’, but felt that lacked the sheer… edginess he wished to portray. There was ‘Wanker in the Wild’, which quite frankly requires virtually no effort, but was deemed to make him look not quite ridiculous enough. There was ‘The Fuckwit Frown’, the ‘Tit in a Trance’, the ‘Daring Dickhead’, so many wonderful options. But this one won it because of its wonderful grittiness, from which you can actually feel the complete lack of any logical or sensible thought coming right at you.

Yet best of all, legally speaking, is that if you’re on trial for basically being a serial liar, you should describe yourself as a ‘strawberry blond’ who weighs ‘215 lb’, when everyone knows you’re a fat ginger fuck weighing 300lbs of blubber.

And half of Americans love, believe and worship this criminal imbecile.

‘That kiss’ is now breaking the entire nation of Spain apart. Instead of celebrating their amazing World Cup win in the Ladies competition last week, they’re caught up in a woke-storm which threatens to destabilise the entire nation’s inherent insistence on a more Neanderthal set of societal norms, which has now resulted in the entire winning team refusing to play again until the President of the National Football Federation, Luis Rubiales, resigns. And all he did was grab a woman by both sides of her head and force his lips on hers. I mean, WTF? Not like he grabbed her crotch or anything. Which, according to him, would have been ‘consensual’. Like the kiss was. Though in fact he did grab his own crotch in celebration at the final whistle. A diplomatic act that not too many could pull off (the look, not his crotch, he didn’t pull that hard). Yet its not for us to judge the Spaniards. Not when we have Mason Greenwood to look up to. And when nations like Saudi Arabia don’t let their women drive without permission, Afghanistan prevents education for women, and going to parks and beauty salons, Spain could be viewed as having a really high level of equality. Because really, its only when you compare it to civilised nations that it appears to mired in pre-evolutionary sensibility. Leave Luis alone. He was just doing what generations of ignorant misogynists have done before him. Women should know their place. And in Spain, that would appear to be not a very good place.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx