Britain has announced that by 2030 no more petrol or diesel cars will be registered. Only ‘lectric, like the Renault Zoe, pedal, like Fred Flintstone’s car, or… or… other good ways of powering cars. Hydrogen maybe. Or sand. Norway is doing it by 2025 because they’re a small, rich country full of very compliant blond people who already have over 15% of their vehicles electric. France is going for 2040 because they are essentially a stroppy and argumentative nation of people whose favourite word is ‘non!’ America is introducing the Chevy Brontosaurus, a supercharged 12 litre, V-16 monster, burning Super-high-leaded petrol mixed with nitro-methane, does 0-60 in 2 seconds, has no steering wheel because you really wouldn’t want go anywhere but in a straight line, and has a fuel consumption of 1.7 miles per gallon. I have one on order.

And Australia, home of the ‘hole in the ozone layer’, is doing… nothing. “Cars are a problem? Not here, mate.” Australia evolved separately, which is why their mammals have inbuilt handbags, and continues to ‘evolve’ along the human branch of the mammalian genus. Not necessarily in what could in any way be described as ‘advancing’ the human condition, but evolution doesn’t work on ‘advancement’ anyway. Which is probably why the Aussies are so good at it. Because its more about simple reproduction.

And its also ironic that over half the world’s current production of lithium, the stuff what makes the batteries in all electric vehicles, comes from Australia. Yet they still hang on to a kind of muscle car culture, down under. Not in the big cities, they’re as pretentious as city dwellers everywhere, trading their Mercs for Priuses, their big Beamers for I3s, but in the ‘backwoods’, which holds about 90% of the Australian population, the places where restaurants close at 8 and you walk down the Main Street feeling like you’re in a scene from ‘Deliverance’. And they drive Holdens. Australia’s very own cars. Well, it was until 2017 when they closed all domestic manufacturing plants. But Holdens were fab. Based on the American ethos of ‘take a piece of shit and stick the biggest fucking engine you could possibly cram under the bonnet, making sure that you NEVER try to improve brakes or suspension once you’ve done so.’ We rented a few on our great Aussie tour of 2011. Looks like a Vauxhall Dull-as-dishwater, drives like a dragster on steroids. My kind’a car.

But I’m ready to embrace the fossil-free revolution. Hmmm…

Happy Friday

A xxxx