These latest allegations against Boris (though you really REALLY have to be specific when allegations against Boris are concerned because there are just so many flying around at any time) are grossly unfair! The ones about the Mayor and the Blonde Tart. Sorry, Jennifer Arcuri wasn’t the Mayor. But we don’t know the story. Boris has denied any allegations of wrong doing and I think we have to believe him. Because… because… Ok, I’ll try again: WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE BELIEVE ANYTHING BORIS SAYS PARTICULARLY WHEN AFFAIRS OF HIS TESTICLES ARE IN QUESTION??
That’s better.

The situation was thus:

Boris was Mayor of London and accepted that responsibility with all due care and consideration and… and responsibility. And if you think that some brassy blonde slapper could make him somehow just lose his judgment and act in a stupid, moronic, negligent or even, dare I say, ‘horny’ way as a consequence of her mere slappery brassiness, then YOU DON’T KNOW OUR MAYOR/PM VERY WELL.

He’s a man of honour and integrity and honesty and trustworthiness and extreme loyalty to the institution of marriage. I’m not saying he’s infallible. Who among us can cast that ‘first stone’??? Eh???

I’m just saying that in moments of extreme weakness, but, like REALLY extreme, Boris could, possibly, potentially, hypothetically, theoretically, allow himself to compromise his ‘head’ for his ‘penis’. I’m not saying it happened, I’m not saying it was even on the cards, I’m just, kind’a, throwin’ it out there. Like a Devil’s Avocado. But less green.

Boris simply offered a woman (see; equal opportunity, blah, blah) the chance to run a government quango about online entrepreneurs. Of which she was definitely one because she had a smart phone. She applied for the post through normal channels and was summarily rejected as being ridiculously unqualified. They didn’t go so far as to say she’d be better suited as a glamour model, but its there between the lines. Boris merely intervened, because HE HAD THE FORESIGHT TO RECOGNISE HER IMMENSE POTENTIAL. He was thinking outside the box. Just not necessarily thinking outside her ‘box’. And so he gave her the 100k a year salaried job. A job she did really really… well, we have no idea.

There is absolutely no suggestion that Boris was motivated in this strictly ‘London’ decision, based on ‘business acumen and ability’ by any promise of cheap and sleazy sex. None at all.

Furthermore, according to Ms Acuri (the current bidding for ‘her story’ is at $225k), another honourable and honest person, men simply ‘fall in love with her in 2 minutes’. I forgot to mention her ‘modesty’. In all its meanings.

So this is a story, an almost tragic story, of nothing more that the assumptions made by Boris haters based on their prejudices and without any substantial evidence whatsoever. Ok, the ‘circumstantial’ evidence is in sufficient quantity to possibly bring back hanging, but it is JUST that; circumstantial. And thus we need to leave Boris alone until the ‘truth’ emerges. And doubtlessly proves his innocence.

Now click your heels three times and think of Kansas.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx