If you weren’t sure exactly what it meant,
America is to have a new President
which come in all shapes, colours and sizes
For four years; gone before anyone realises.

This new one is the colour of gold
his face, his hair, all toned to what was ‘orange of old’
But being the Prez is not about appearance
Its a serious business requiring a startling intelligence

And there, really, is where the problem lies
The Trumpster man is ‘brain-denied’
He’s bluster and boom, gung-ho and John Wayne
Anything else is really a bit of a shame.

It will be Friday before he officially starts his new job
yet already he’s upset half the world by being a bit of a nob
With Taiwan contact China go ballistic
This isn’t a game, its more than mere statistics

Germany too reap his derision and contempt
Whilst another dose of hair-spray ensure’s he’s never unkempt
“Merkel made a tragic mistake” by letting those Syrians come
Jihadi’s one and all, kick ’em out and let me know when its done

He does have a soft spot for England Scotland and Wales
His mum loved the Queen, and all in which she sails
Well my Mum loved Morecombe & Wise but that doesn’t mean
I’d want to do a trade deal with them, however the terms might be keen

“Europe’s a shambles, NATO a frikkin’ mess”, he utters
But Russia’s dead cool and not at all run by dangerously aggressive nutters
For Mexicans I’m gonna build me a big wall
Six foot wide and twenny foot tall

“And cos BMW wants to build a factory down there
I’m gonna tax them cars to shit; that’ll make things square
They should be buildin’ ’em here, in the U.S of A
Jobs for my boys, work for another day”

“Oh, we do make ’em here, down in South Carolina
I didn’ know that, no wonder them cars is so finer.
70,000 jobs, to be absolutely precise
And a 35% tax would make cars a truly terrible price”

“Yeah, but they don’t drive American cars in Berlin… errr… Paris?… Munich
Like Beemers over here are driven by thousands of the rich”
But that’s because BMWs are fine vehicles indeed
And a 3-ton Chevy pick-up is probably not what Germans need

“I have a lot of respect for women; I’d rarely screw anything other
But I value their opinions, their counsel, their wisdom, particularly when theyr’e uncovered
I don’t like ‘dogs’, ugly ones make me sick,
no time for the disabled either really, its not what makes me tick”

So The Don is coming, to a White House right near you
Don’t be depressed, the world’s already mired in poo.
This is no time for getting all limp and wussy,
When you see that gel, just grab her by the pussy!!!

God fucking help us

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx