So I’ve checked my ‘digital ID’ and it turns out I’m an AI avatar called Rodney. I’m non-binary, poly-sexual (sleep with parrots), and I live on a commune of like-minded deviants in Ayrshire. I have a National Insurance number but choose not to use it for work, only for claiming benefits. Which I do in abundance, at every opportunity. I support Middlesboro but still hate Arsenal. So at least they got something right.

It does seem a little ‘mis-timed’ for the government to introduce the really belated concept of ‘digital IDs’ (Spain’s had them since 2007), as if its really innovative, in the same week that 8,000 Ids were hacked from a kindergarten database, Jaguar Land Rover are on the brink of collapse following their hack and the COOP is in trouble too, and not just for imposing a ‘total Israeli ban’ long before it was even fashionable with later-arriving antisemites. They were hacked too.

So a digital ID. To prevent illegal working. And illegalS from working. The problem is; we’re so ‘good’ to immigrants anyway, I’d rather they were working. Rather than sitting around in hotels all day getting taxis across the country for remote hospital appointments, all paid by us. The authorities won’t give asylum seekers a bus pass, but insist they get taxis, all paid by ‘us’. My tax bill now comes from Uber.

As an honest (ish), hard-working (hmmm), tax-paying (if I must), citizen of this once fine nation, (now obviously turned to shit), I really have no issue with carrying an ID card, wearing an ID tag, deploying an ID app, or having a chip inserted into my cerebellum which gives me 1000 volts every time I think ill or speak badly of the government. If you have nothing to hide, you don’t care who knows where you are.

What a ‘digital ID’ won’t do is stop the small boats from landing on our shores. It won’t stop them, reduce them, affect them in any way. As most of the occupants have absolutely no ID on them anyway and aren’t entitled to a new, fancy-shmancy ‘digital’ one from here.

There are people around, deeply cynical people, who reckon that the Starmer has suddenly got all ‘digital ID’ as a deflection from the disasters his government has faced in the last few weeks. And in all likelihood will face in the weeks/months/years to come. Which is what happens when you’re hopeless.

So now they’re fighting ‘for the soul of the nation’. Really Kier?? Gimme a break. Pitching himself as a figurative God against Farage’s Devil.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx