We’ve had the Leveson Inquiry, we’ve shut down the News of the World as a consequence due to Murdochian sleazy journalism and now it appears, on the very day that government suspended ‘Leveson 2, with a vengeance!’ or whatever it was called, the noble and hi-brow (ish) Sunday Times, Murdoch’s flagship journal, was acting in an even more despicable manner than the regular gutter press. They hacked phones, bugged homes, stole bank statements and mortgage accounts of then PM Tony Blair, of Gordon Brown, anyone big and famous. So they issued a statement. Along the lines: this newspaper has made every effort to uphold the standards, blah, blah, blah… morally up our own arse… blah blah, never intended to descend into the nether world of corruption… will strive to maintain standards…

Well they fucking failed. Miserably.

So to avoid being tarred by any association to that newspaper (in that I read it), I’d like to issue my own statement of innocence, if not ignorance:

“This blog has never hacked a phone, bugged a flat, rummaged through a cabinet ministers dustbin, accessed bank or other financial statements or in any way acted contrary to the official code of conduct of ‘andysglasses.com’. There’s simply no need. I just make it up instead.”

Sifting through an Islington wheelie-bin in the cold of night in me rubber gloves rummaging through Peter Mandelson’s used tea bags is just not my thing. Question my dedication if you will. I just don’t care enough.

Meanwhile, back in Salisbury, we seem to have acquired a couple of very sick Russians. And for the benefit of Boris Johnson the old adage ‘if it smells like shit and looks like shit then it probably is shit’, doesn’t automatically work if you change it to ‘if it looks like Litvinenko and smells like Litvinenko…’

Of course it PROBABLY is the Russians cleaning their laundry in someone else’s garden, yet again, but Boris, WHAT’S THE FUCKING RUSH? Why start making stupid accusations and promises of sanctions now, when we know nothing, rather than waiting a few days until we can speak in an informed manner? I’m allowed to make shit up, the Foreign Secretary isn’t.

As a cruel irony, just this weekend Mel & I have booked a little holiday for May. St Petersburg and Moscow. So we’d really prefer it if Britain hasn’t declared war on Russia before then. I JUST BOUGHT TICKETS FOR THE FUCKING BALLET, FFS!! So leave that nice Mr Putin (haven’t got our visas yet) alone, Boris. Or at very least, wait until the inevitable facts are known.

Happy Wednesday and COYS tonight

A xxxx