Jo Biden has arrived on these shores. His first major challenge was the steps of Air Force One. Didn’t look too convincing if I’m honest, being a bit steep and… stair-like, for a man with 80 years of hip strain and knee issues behind him, but he made it onto English soil with just a little help from his carer, Mrs Biden. Just in time to issue a diplomatic ‘caution’ to Boris over Brexit and Northern Ireland. Like a yellow card for ambassadorial types. The sort of thing you normally do when you’re really pissed off with an ‘enemy’ type nation. Not your country-BFF. Yet many think this move was just to give some sort of advantage whilst negotiating our ‘trade deal’ with America. And as we want absolutely NOTHING to stand in the way of our unlimited access to chlorinated chickens, this could be a good tactic by Biden.

Could be, but wasn’t. Because the ‘land of the brave’ is only brave when not under threat. Or when they’re sending in thousands of troops where they’re not wanted. When troubles abound the yanks are normally the first ones to lock the gates and ban travel.

There’s a long history of East Coast democrats with affiliation to Ireland. The Kennedys were ‘Irish’ and many subsequent politicos make the claim too. Which gave them their unique ‘unalienable right to interfere’. Like during the ‘real’ ‘troubles’ in Northern Ireland when Noraid were fundraisers for the IRA, helping to keep them in bullets and ensure that we Brits, on the ‘front line’ knew that the bombs blowing up West End pubs and Brent Cross flyover, were made with the best explosives US dollars from Boston could buy.

But a trade deal? We could give them access to the European markets, except we no longer have that to offer. So they can have all the Vauxhall cars they want and in return we have to increase our purchase of guns. Every house in England must have 3, except the people who want 33. They also want to stipulate that ‘there will be no more good music played in the UK, only Country and Western’. Then we’ll need to change our policing methods to a more US style. And run the entire NHS on a private model. So that the people the police shoot in the back can’t get into hospitals for treatment without a valid credit card.

Joe Biden needs to understand that no nation is more intent on peace in Northern Ireland that Britain. Boris is old enough to remember the ‘good ole days’, he needs no threats from octogenarian Yanks to remind him of the fragility of the Province.

Welcome to England, Mr President

A xxxx