If ever any dress was worth £4million it was that one. I’m not saying that’s what I’d spend 4 mil that I don’t have on, that would be a Veyron, a pro-fuel dragster (for communting), a new shoulder, one that works properly, a 1970 Dodge Charger and a bottle of face cream for Mel. She loves face cream. And a different dress. ‘Nude’ is not my colour. I’d get a blue one. To match my Spurs tattoos.

But its worth 4 mil of anyone’s money. The sexiest dress ever on the sexiest woman ever. And I don’t know why. I’ve never known why; that’s the magic of Monroe. I’ve never particularly been into blondes, nor ‘voluptuous’, but Monroe just took all the previously ticked boxes, rubbed them out, very slowly and gently, and wrote new ones, in a very soft felt pen, all over your body.

Sorry, where was I?

Oh yeah, Donald Trump. You bored with him yet? Funny thing is; whatever you may think of him, the only negative adjective you can never use about him is ‘boring’. Insanity is anything but dull. And the motto for his entire presidency (we can only pray that its 4 years and not 8) will be ‘conflict of interest’. How can it not be. He has vast business holdings, is constantly being sued and now he’s going to be in control of building stuff and part of the judiciary. Yesterday he settled a suit against him for $25mil. A suit he’d previously refused to even discuss, being so spurious. I hope the litigants voted for him. Was well worth their while.

He’s now appointed a new dude. A right wing General called Michael Flynn. He’s never had a dress you need to be sewn into. He’s head of security. Which should be absolutely fine. As long as you’re a middle-class white man. Everyone else better be really careful.

Because the man Don wants for attorney general is a real, robe-wearing, cross-burning fully paid-up member of the KKK. Ok, not in actuality but he sounds like he could be. He’s from Alabama, and that’s almost the same thing. And Jeff Sessions has a bit of a history of allegations of racist comments. All of which, I must stress, were ‘taken out of context’, or ‘made in jest’. All of them. There’s nothing inherently racist in calling a colleague, a black judge, ‘boy’. Nothing ‘Gone with the Wind’ about that at all.

Happy Saturday, I’m going to get dressed. Where’s the sewing machine and CAREFUL WITH THAT FUCKING NEEDLE!!!

A xxxx