When Justin Welby was… elevated?, promoted?, ascended?, raised on the high alter of Christianity to a table so high he sat with just God and the Pope for company!!!, I thought: what a nob. There’s something horribly smug about the man. Something smarmy. There’s someone who really thinks he’s cleverer than everyone else. And can explain why in words of so many syllables no-one else could ever understand. In a very ‘wet’ way.

Then, after 10 years at the helm, floating around the place angelically in his cherub’s garb, they sacked the fucker. Ok, strictly, ‘he resigned’ but we all know. And as the only person above him was God him(or her, or them)self, it was not taken lightly.

It transpired that in that intervening decade Welby had spent his time protecting the reputation of his church. At the expense of the countless children abused, beaten, physically and sexually assaulted and raped. By ‘men of the cloth’. His brethren. In the crusade. For Jesus.

Welby stood up to make his ‘farewell speech’ in the House of Lords. And he chose, in all his brilliance and wisdom and total understanding of human nature, to ‘have a bit of a larf’. Make it witty. No mention of the victims, no apology for being the most negligent person since the ‘Atomic Lookout’ in Hiroshima in 1945. No remorse, just sanctimonious shit and horrendously inappropriate humour. (And coming from me, a world-class exponent of inappropriate humour; that’s saying a lot).

But for some reason, Laura Kuenssberg decided to resurrect the man, to drag this horrible, grey person back into the limelight to interview him. I watched as much as I could bear. And decided, after due consideration and examination of all facts, that he’s still a tosser. Possibly a worse one than when he’s all in white with a silly hat on.

He let serial abuser John Smyth ‘get away with it’ because poor Justin was ‘overwhelmed’. Not with messages from God. Not with counting up collection boxes. But with sex accusations. Desk full of ‘em. Heaped up three feet high. But that didn’t fire up any red lights in Justin’s world. He knew Smyth. The man had a very bad reputation for 30 years of abusing little boys. But Welby was so ‘overwhelmed’ he instigated no action. Too many candles to light to be worried about hundreds of children getting beaten, bloodied and abused by some sick fuck mate. Don’t want word of that getting out, might be damaging to the church.

Asked if Welby would forgive Smyth, he pondered then said ‘yes’, he would. And I thought ‘really????’ The man was pure evil. A literal ‘devil’. And surely even the Christian obsession with forgiveness must have some limits? I reckon even Jesus would have kicked John Smyth in the bollocks.

Happy birthday Lila!!! 8 today.

A xxxx