Dont’cha just hate it when you go to bed at night and wake up 9.6 million pounds of jewellery poorer? Oh, not again!!! you think. Phah!

Kim Kardashian went to bed in Paris in a very shi-shi hotel. One that can provide the special beds she requires that don’t cause static electricity when in contact with silicon. The potential with KK in that situation is estimated to be able to run the national grid for 17 hours.

So she went to bed, wearing 9 million quid’s worth of jewels and a fleecy, winciette nightgown from the closing down sale at BHS. Allegedly.

Robbers broke in, put a gun to poor Kimsy’s head and made her hand over all the valuables.

This is a crime against humanity. It represents the worst offense ever perpetrated to the whole of mankind. The magnitude of this will have repercussions for generations; morally, socially, saniti-ly.

WHY DIDN’T HE PULL THE TRIGGER WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE??????

Jesus fucking Christ, Kim Kardashian, the world’s most self-serving, vapid, vacuous, egotistical end-point of the evolution of cosmetic surgery; the Frankenstein woman of her generation, the spin-off queen responsible for the dimming down of the entire tv networks, and there she was, in their cross-hairs. She has no cross hairs, they’re removed by lazer. Yet the coup de gras was not given. The opportunity lost.

I hope they catch these criminals, give them life in prison watching re-runs of all the Kardashian shit that they are now TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR. Generations of the bastards, all with their own mindless ‘shows’. How much shopping can anyone watch in one lifetime?

Ok, just so’s you know, the operation was a complete success. The shoulder. Mine. Injections, knitting needles, pain, remember? So just for the record: I LOVE CORTISONE. It has, quite literally, changed my life. Ok, gotta do some sadist’s idea of ‘physiotherapy’ to ensure all stays well but wow; that stuff is brilliant. Pain to painless in just 45 minutes of massive fucking needles.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx