Ok, gloves off, get ready, stand and declare. The Tories who wish to become the new leader and consequently the new Prime Minister (150 grand a year, company car, nice house, own police force, all the security guards you can eat) have thrown their hats into the ring for the first vote on Thursday. At which the parliamentary members get to reduce the field from its current 10 down to (I think) just 2 or maybe 3 (fell asleep at that point on the news) who go to the 150,000 members to vote upon.

There’s 3 blondes, Esther McVey, Andrea Leadsom and Boris, one bald one, Javid, and 7 who can’t be separated on hair alone, which is why Gove wears glasses. It distinguishes him from the crowd and enhances the nerd vibe he’s spent a lifetime very successfully creating. All generally wear suits. Or running gear. Most have held cabinet office, but not necessarily recently due to… Br…

They all have varied drug histories, but no-one gives a shit what the fuck they did when they were 18. Except the other 9.

Yesterday half of them gave ‘launch’ events. And this is what they said. In very specific terms.

We need to move forward!
The party needs new direction!!
I’m the person who can take us beyond the current shambles. And only me.
We need to re-engage the population with politics again.
I have a vision, not just of the present BUT OF THE FUTURE!!!!

In other words, a load of meaningless bollocks. Because guess what it all comes down to in the end? Fucking Brexit. In politics as in life. Brexit is all. Half the candidates are Leavers, half Remainers. They all speak in very positive terms about how easy it will be to finally implement Brexit IF THEY ARE IN POWER. Yeah. Right. They’ll get a new deal. They’ll leave without a deal. They’ll leave in October COME WHAT MAY!!! (Not Theresa, the other ‘may’).

Only Rory Stewart remains ultra-soft on Brexit. Mainly because, being a sensible and clever person, he doesn’t really want to leave at all. And despite his odd looks (Stan Laurel meets Woody Allen) he definitely makes the most sense out of all the chancers and tossers who see a cheap and ‘easy’ way to reach their ultimate aspiration. But he’s a Remainer. And you have to suspect that the 150,000 Conservative Party Members who make the decision, because of their age alone, are likely to be a majority of Leave supporters. I’m thinking pipes, twin-sets, country piles, servants, Rule Britannia, Maggie Thatcher and Winston Churchill.

To me it comes down to who can defeat Corbyn at a general election. Nothing else matters.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx