Not since Oscar Pistorius has there been a greater travesty by the legal system in a case of blatantly obvious self-defence. Why have they even brought this to trial?

Oscar maintained when it was his turn, that he heard a noise in the bathroom, leapt out of bed, not easy when you don’t have legs, but leapt he did, grabbed the nearest of his 173 fully loaded, high power assault weapons, failed (tragically; oh if only… sob, sob) to notice the missing blond from his bedside who could possibly have accounted for said ‘noise in bathroom’, and emptied the weapon through the door. One dead supermodel, one empty gun. Self defence. Even though she wasn’t actually in the room at the time.

And now we have the next tragedy. Mayka Kukocova had a fight with boyfriend Andrew Bush. He’d found a new girlfriend, Maria Korotaeva, a ‘model’, just like his almost ex-girlfriend. Found them on ‘slavics-are-us.com’ where you take East European ‘models’ on short term leases and when there’s a few miles on the clock, you just trade them in for a new ‘model’.

Sadly the old model had a gun in her hand. Allegedly taken from the eventual victim, who’d come to ‘end it’. ‘It’ being the relationship, presumably, rather than anything even more dramatic. Why you need a gun to end that is another question. But gun he(?) had. They fought. Then the killer (literally) line: “I didn’t realise I had a gun in my hand”.

I’ve heard the line ‘is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me’, but I kind’a think if you were holding a (real) gun, you might realise it. Might. But not Mayka, cos that’s how it happened. So she accidentally shot him. Then again. And a third time, just in case the previous two accidents, errrr… well… weren’t accidental enough.

I believe Mayka. Totally. If that’s what she said, that’s what happened. Otherwise its just a crime of passion tantrum by some Russian(esque) bimbo pissed off about being replaced. And we don’t like that. In fact I don’t like the look of Andrew Bush. The perma-tan, the ‘middle-aged-Mohawk’, the selfie grin, the ‘wife beater’ vest, all that self-satisfied smugness. Not that I would ever judge by appearances. Never.

The case continues. But in Spain so we need subtitles.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx