I had a busy day yesterday. I had lots to do because I had to rush off early. For an appointment. With Joey. And 15 other 3-year olds. Because I was the designated ‘reader’ for the day. At ‘book time’ or ‘reading time’ or ‘celebrity read-over’ or whatever they call such things in nursery school. Well, I can read, can’t I? So why not. Didn’t say you need to be a good reader or nuffink, just “read!”, and I can do that.

They sat me on a special chair. Well, a chair, as they were all on the floor, all bright eyes and almost heart-breaking eager anticipation. And Joey was honoured to have a little chair next to mine. Being a ‘celebrity by proxy’, as he was. Whilst I was Kim Kardashian.

I started reading and immediately met a hail of shrieks. I needed to hold the book up and facing away whilst reading, so they could see the pictures. Which meant holding it over my right shoulder at head level. And then I gotta read the words, sideways on, through the wrong part of my glasses. But heh, I didn’t make too many mistakes and 3 year-olds, for all their wondrous enthusiasm, can’t fucking read and are unaware of mistakes!!!

Then I came home and was dropped back to Earth with a bang. I did a ‘focus group’, online, for a new test. For the BRCA (“bracca”) gene. Which is the most terrible thing. Its the one that makes you massively likely to have breast cancer, or ovarian cancer, and, generally, as genes go, its the veritable ‘Chelsea’ of the gene pool. Possibly even worse.

But I also learned that as well as those cancers we know about, BRCA also massively increases the risk of getting pancreatic AND prostate cancer too. Because men can have it and its bad, not statistically massive as the breast and ovarian risk but its up there.

And here’s the really bad bit. ‘Normal’ people have a 1 in 250 chance of inheriting the BRCA gene. Ashkenazi Jews have a 1 in 40 chance. All that fucking praying and that’s the thanks you get! Ashkenazi Jews are the ones who hail from Poland, Russia, Germany; the civilised nations. Where they were persecuted to shit and onto boats to safer havens at one time or another.

Anyway, the NHS have come up with a brilliant new test. Its done with just saliva (no needles!!!!), and you do it at home and post it. Lucky postman. And its going to be FREE!!!!! Everyone should take it. But me first, because my risk is greater and even if I didn’t before, I realise that medicine is more reliable than prayer.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx