Ok, I miss Lila. I would. She’s special. And I would be missing the football, but its internationals and I really don’t care about them one little jot. Although if I’d have known Israel were playing Scotland on Thursday I might have been tempted to go to Haifa and watch. It’s only an hour away. But I didn’t in fact realise it until Friday morning which, even here, is a bit on the too late side. I also missed ‘the (very very other) royal wedding’. In which an unknown royal married a completely unknown un-royal and they rode off down Windsor Park in a carriage.

I also missed Celebrity Silly Dancers so would normally have no clue (nor even vague interest) in ‘the reaction of the audience to ‘that kiss’’, except it was on the front page of the Sunday Times. I mean; WHO CARES???? Someone must, but who, exactly, is bothered that some Eastern-Euro-dancing-babe was caught kissing an L-list celeb when (probably) one or other of them may or may not have been married to another at the time of the kissage.

What I’ve also blessedly missed has been all the latest Brexit discussions. I look at the paper every day and I think; Brexit… hmmm… Theresa May… David Davis… hmmm… customs unions, trade deals, hard borders… NOOOOO!!!! And I turn the page. Digitally, obvs, cos I only have it on the iPad here. I simply can’t bear it any longer. Reading about Brexit is like Arsenal’s ‘invincibles’ season; really horrible and gives you a headache and makes you want to cry.

But David Davis is trying to unseat Theresa. Boris is waiting. All kinds of Tory ne’er do-wells are loitering in the wings. In that ‘support Theresa fully’ way that means they’d kill her in a second if they could do so without getting caught. And in another room sits Le Corbyn. Doing nothing, saying very little and just biding his time before getting his opportunity to join us with Russia, murdering the monarchy, removing the word ‘democracy’ from our constitution and installing Momentum as the Red Army/KGB.

Make it go away.

Happy Last day of holiday

A xxxx