I think we’ve found the next American Sniper. And he’s just three years old. Rummaging around in his mother’s handbag (as ya do), ‘looking for an ipod’, apparently, but I reckon he was looking for cash to go and buy drugs, he came across a 9mm handgun. And although the weapon had hardly any tunes loaded on it, there were other things loaded instead. The kid fired the gun which managed to hit both his father and his mother. Just one shot. 2 hits. In dad’s ass, out through his hip and into mummy’s arm. Great shootin’, kiddo!!!

They need more guns in America. And they need to keep them lying around. What use is a weapon if its unloaded and locked in a secure cabinet??

But more importantly, today is the last day of the January ‘transfer window’ in football. Even though its February. The rule is that the last day has to be on a weekday because it gives Sky Sports tv something to waste an entire day upon. And its LIVE and UP TO THE MINUTE and AS IT HAPPENS with commentary by the usual team of ‘at de end’a da day’ and ‘game’a tooo alves’ pundits spurting tired and sad clichés about every possible movement and implication, every bid, every speculative possibility. And if you did that on the weekend nobody would watch it because there’s actual football being played which is far more interesting. Except Southampton versus Swansea which was so interesting I fell asleep for an hour, just waking up in time to see Jonjo Shelvey hit a stunning winner. Which made me happy from a purely selfish perspective as we really need Southampton to be lower down the league at this time. We have enough trouble with resurgent Manchester United and bloody Arsenal and can well do without usurpers from the South Coast getting in the way of our quest for 4th place. And much as I have no other issues with Southampton, I rather like Swansea City.

So today will see loads of activity. Not as much as the final day of the August ‘window’ because traditionally, January is for panic buys and losers. Making Emanuel Adebayor’s possible move to QPR almost perfect.

For Spurs this window is about unloading. Its about surplus to requirements being shown the door. Hopefully, as well as Adebayor, Aaron Lennon may make the move up to Hull. Lucky Aaron. He can enjoy the excitement of a relegation battle. Etienne Capoue is set to leave too, even though most of us have forgotten he even played for Spurs still, and Vlad Chiriches is on the way as well. Sadly a lot of prospective moves are merely ‘on loan’ deals. However, unloading dead wood is good for the soul; is therapeutic, cathartic. And dead wood is something of a speciality for my team. We collect it like others collect art. Or guns.

Happy Transfer Day

A xxxx