Although the proper ‘election campaigning’ can’t start until the Parliamentary session is officially ended, it does kind’a look like its begun already, with all the big players, and Jeremy Corbyn, even Paul Nuttall, getting out and about and… well, basically, talking bollocks all over the country.

Theresa May exudes confidence. She’s like the headmistress of a school that’s totally, sometimes brutally, under control and neat and tidy and just leave it all to her and we’ll be fine. The kids are doing great. Even though a lot of them don’t feel very great most of the time. You’re safe in my hands, she purrs, threateningly.

Whereas Jeremy Corbyn has another agenda. Give us more bank holidays. Not one, not two, but FOUR extra days off a year! For ‘his’ trade unionists who average 72 days paid holiday per annum. His economic understanding is ‘feeble’ at the best of times, based on a model of ‘pouring money that you don’t have down a big drain’. Never mind, the ‘rich’ are rich, they can pay for it. And think what we’ll save getting rid of nuclear bombs (which he’s still keen to do) and also MI5. I mean who needs military intelligence? Not like the world’s dangerous or anything.

Paul Nuttall, UKIP’s leader probably won’t stand for parliament himself. Or he might just say he’s won a seat when he hasn’t. He does that sort of thing. Claims he can ‘be more effective by not being actually in parliament’. Depends how one defines ‘effective’, I reckon. But leaving Europe has left his party with nothing to say. Because the ‘phase 2’ for UKIP can only be sorting out immigration from within our shores, as the main input has been plugged. So he’s worked out an ‘integration agenda’ for Muslims. They need to dress proper, talk English, possibly start getting drunk more, you know: ‘IN-TEG-RATE’. Basically: be more like us or fuck off. Reasonable.

My biggest worry though is Tim Fallon. The leader of the Liberals. Remember them; big in D’Israeli’s day, then kind’a slumped other than the terrible Coalition with Cameron, now reduced to near nothing and led by the smiling Christian. Which is what worries me. And a lot of Liberals too. Because Timbo is ‘devout’. Which is why he smiles so much; Jesus is with him. So he inevitably has views about, f’rinstance, gays, which are not strictly ‘liberal’. Even though he always makes sure, smilingly, to say the right thing. Once the word ‘devout’ (other than in relation to football or any other really worthy cause) is invoked, that’s when I leave the building. Yet as its only the Liberals its not going to make a massive difference one way or the other.

Everything to play for. Bit like Newcastle last night. The ‘bounce back’. Well done them. Not easy to do that, yet they did.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx