When Spurs lost to West Brom on Saturday I cried. Metaphorically, literally, copiously, voluminously, uncontrollably, desperately, depressingly. In sheer frustration, despair, anguish, anxiety, despondency and because I was really fucking pissed off. We’d managed to lose a game, seconds before the final whistle, to the worst team in the country (at the time) and in doing so were once again plunged into that horrendous end of season ‘champions league panic’. I do realise this is football’s version of a ‘first world problem’ in that there are about 14 teams who’d take 5th, or 6th, even 16th place with great thanks and a sigh of relief. But I’m not talking about Arsenal.

We just needed to win and we were sitting pretty. But we lost, which made it nasty and slippery and tested my confidence in my new-found ability to only ‘look upwards’ when all I could see was Chelsea just over my shoulder creeping up. Because only two out of Spurs, Liverpool and Chelsea can get into the top 4 slots. And we’d had our name written large on one of them, until Saturday. And then on Sunday when Chelsea beat Liverpool I should have been happy. Because Liverpool (looking up) were ours for the taking. But if I succumbed to the briefest of downward glances I saw those bastards at Chelsea just over my left shoulder (too painful to look over my right one).

So two matches left to play, the first of which was Newcastle last night at Wembley. And we cruised to an agonising, painfully woe-stricken, awkward and clumsy victory. And probably one which never tasted sweeter. Lila’s mum and dad went, abandoning their baby at our house. And her dad messaged me that ‘we limped home’. But I’ll take it. And sing and fucking dance for a week. Because with Chelsea just drawing with Huddersfield (thus taking them out of relegation danger) we have a Euro slot guaranteed. Set in stone. Liverpool and Chelsea be damned. They can do what they want on the final day, I’m looking up. Because if we win we go third. I’m happy with 4th but want 3rd, just because.

Up, down, up down, shake it all about. I just don’t care any more.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx